I’m attracted to unavailable men.
Yep, it’s true. It’s something I’ve realized for years now, but I’ve been too ashamed to admit it. I know you’re thinking, “But Lucky, all women are attracted to unavailable men.”
But it’s worse than your typical case of chasing after someone who maybe doesn’t want you. Because yes, I know, the grass is always greener on the other side.
But I’ve always fallen for men who live states away, or sometimes, oceans away. Of course, it’s not the only reason I admire them; all of these guys are good and I enjoy talking to them, and if I’m lucky enough (pun intended), getting to visit them.
My fear is this—what does that say about me that I like men who are physically far away? Does it mean that deep down I’m not ready for a serious relationship? Am I afraid of getting physically close? Is it just a coincidence? Maybe I like to blame the fact that I’m single on men far away, since I hate long distance relationships…
I moved far away for college, and I feel like ever since then, there’s always a guy in the distance. Of course, when I date someone seriously in my own city, I’m not off flirting with someone else. But let me give you a run down:
Colorado: Snowboarder, pathological liar, party animal, been friends for years, wouldn’t date him, but enjoyed the occasional drunk flirt via text my freshman and sophomore years in college.
Iraq: I’ve had many-a-soldier come into my life and had these weird relationships with them through boxes of goodies, letters , and phone calls. None of them turned out well. Everyone knows by now that Iraq makes everyone go insane. NO OFFENSE, I just can’t do it. And…I didn’t.
Mr. Midwest: Damn you, mister! There is always someone in the midwest I pine for—maybe it is the familiarity of home? Or is it simply the fact that there is a weak spot in my heart for that attitude and accent? Damn. Damn. Damn!
Peacemaker: My friend, who I think is incredibly sexy, has been overseas for a year serving in the Peace Corps. He is one of those guys I let slip through my radar when he was in town; turned him down for multiple dinners and dates, until of course, he leaves the country. Why am I such a faggot? I truly think he is one of those good guys that would stick around for a long time and that does scare me a bit.
Hard-to-get: I’ve had a few guys who not only live far away, but damn they play hard to get. This shit drives me CRAZY. Nuff said. I’m not going into this because it’s going to piss me off.
Okay, now it’s time to get into the second-half of my problem with unavailable men. Celebrities.
I would be lying to you if I said there wasn’t a portion of my brain that truly believes I’m meant to be with someone famous. Why do I think this? It makes me crazy. Do I belong on the red carpet (well, of course I do)? Or is it simply the fact that I’ve always desired to be an admired writer, so I want to be with someone who is also greatly admired?
Steve Ward: This dude is sexy. That’s all there is to it. There is something both intimidating and attractive that is found in his job as a matchmaker—if we went on a date (yeah, I’ve thought about it) would he be able to read my mind based on my every move? On this imaginary date, of course, Mr. Ward is completely swept away by my glamour, and he admits he’s never ever met a girl like me in his life. I am the one.
John Mayer: This one is a layered battle—he’s unavailable in the way that I can’t get his attention in any form, AND he’s kind of a douche. So why do I think we are a match—well, because I have the Joshua Tree of vaginas, of course.
Maybe this celebrity fetish is just a result of the fact that I am always single, and I need someone to pine after—nothing like imagining a round of hot sex with Gavin DeGraw when times get lonely.
I guess there’s no harm in a little cross-country flirting—no one gets hurt and no one gets pregnant. And that folks, is my new motto in love.