Forgive your vanity? Go fuck yourself.

It isn’t rare for me to get rejected. But when it happens, it still shocks the shit out of me. It isn’t the fact that I’m getting rejected, it’s usually how it happens.

Okay, so I’ll get down to the business here. Since I’m recently single, I’ve got my eyes open for a fresh cut of meat. I went to a birthday party for my girlfriend Leslie about a month ago and met one of her coworkers from the restaurant she works at, I’ll call it Red Lobster. I thought he was cute, so we danced some, but nothing came of it. A few weeks later, I went to dinner at Red Lobster with Leslie and he was our waiter.

He gave me a hug and said, “Hey! I remember you!”

Knowing how drunk I was at the party and probably him, I said, “You do?”

“Well, yeah,” he said.

Sweet, I thought. So I told Leslie I thought he was cute and asked if he was single. She said he was single and very sweet, and she would try to plan a time for us to hangout. So, a few weeks later he was going to meet Leslie and I out, but she said when she texted him, he wasn’t replying.

With a belly full of liquid confidence, I asked Leslie for his number and texted him to come out with us. He replied saying he was too hungover to get off his couch. In typical Lucky-fashion, I replied and told him I couldn’t believe he had a hot girl asking him to come out and he was choosing the couch over me. He said that wasn’t the case and we would hang out another time. I simply told him the ball was in his court.

I explained to Leslie what happened, and that I was a little pissed. So I decided to forget him for awhile.

Well, a few days later Leslie tells me the guy, I’ll call him Flynn, told her he felt bad about not meeting us out, he was flattered I was into him, and wanted to meet for drinks. After that, him and I were texting for a few days and things were going good. Or as Ray J says it—things were poppin’.

But things stopped poppin’ last night when I sent him a text asking what time we were supposed to meet for drinks.

Flynn: We probably shouldn’t. Flirty texts are perfectly innocent. I am kinda talking to a girl at work, so I can’t meet up with you with the intentions I would and it stay innocent. Sorry for leading you on, but you’re gorgeous and it was very flattering.

Me: You could’ve told me that before talking to Leslie and ME. Fuck off.

Flynn: Sorry it’s like that.

Me: Sorry that you just lead me on for a waitress at Red Lobster over a hot, fun girl? Yeah, me too.

Flynn: Not over you. Me and her aren’t anything of note, but I wanna give it a chance. I’m really sorry if I hurt you anyway. I really think you’re awesome and if not for prior circumstances, we would’ve hung out already.

Me: Whatever. I hope you and Mrs. Red Lobster get hitched.

Flynn: Don’t be like that. I would show you the same courtesy if we were talking and I met her after. I really hope you can forgive me and we can be cool. I think you’d be a blast to chill with but I understand if you wouldn’t.

Me: Be like what? I thought you were interested and you weren’t. I’m not into being second best, so good luck!

Flynn: I am interested and you’re not second best, but I can’t just walk if she’s done nothing wrong. I hope one day you can forgive my vanity and we can be friends.

Me: I haven’t done anything wrong either. It’s fine. No big deal. Have a good life.

Flynn: I am sorry and I wish I told you before. If I did I wouldn’t know anything about you, but at least we could be cool. Take care.

Me: Okay, consider your number deleted 🙂

Flynn: Wish it wasn’t like that.

UMMMMM WOW FUCKING WOW. I’m sorry, but what in the fuck? Where do I even begin? Obviously, he is a single guy, talking to two girls at once. That is not a crime. Wouldn’t the proper thing to do be going on dates and figuring out who works and who doesn’t? I thought that was the point of being single?

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate his honesty. But come on. This is clearly a case of a guy wanting to keep me on the side while he checks on this other chick. And then he’s all, “i hope we can be friends, I think you’d be a blast to chill with?” Again, what in the fuck?

I am so OVER men and their bullshit. And yes, I know, women have their bullshit sometimes too. But damn. I am not looking for another guy friend, I’m looking for someone to love. And I’m not afraid to admit that.

So to Flynn, go fuck yourself. Buh bye.

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2 thoughts on “Forgive your vanity? Go fuck yourself.

  1. WB says:

    I’m curious why you didn’t really mean ‘fuck off’ when you texted him back. Why didn’t you just leave it at that and not respond to him? Was the last word really that necessary? He wasn’t into you. Sucks, but it seems like you could have spent that hour or so it took to have the rest of your texting conversation on something that would have made you happy instead of on his undeserving ass.
    And for the record, he wasn’t being honest. He was misleading to you and surely was concealing his action to girl #2. Sounds like a real prince charming…

  2. […] back, I’d have to say the short-lived relationship with Flynn ended up being pretty funny. I did talk to him after I told him to go fuck himself, but of course […]

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