Well, Gizzy is boarding a cruise ship right now with her family for five days…so you all get to put up with me AALLLL week. Don’t worry kids, just when I thought the well was going dry a pile of new dating stories fell into my lap—not in the good way.
I realized last week that I mentioned this guy Bradley in a post but had never really explained my situation with him. Remember that concert I went to…er maybe a month ago and the girl’s face was all bloody?! Well that’s where I met Bradley. He was with the group of guys who asked me to come stand with them. The guys were cool, but I was genuinely interested in watching the concert (singing, dancing, screaming) and generally being annoying. So, while I talked to Bradley it was very small talk and we were both having drinks, so I wasn’t in a clear mindset to make any quick judgments. When Bradley left, he asked for my number. I gave it to him and he texted me an hour later or so to see if I made it home okay.
I thought it was nice, but didn’t know what to think. The next few days he sent me some really nice texts—how was your day? How is work going? etc. Since we were talking through text, the conversations weren’t too deep but I remembered that at the concert he mentioned his age—30, and said he was working as a waiter. I assumed he was in school or something so I asked him about that.
He said he wasn’t in school because he hadn’t found a school that had the major he was interested in. So I asked him about this major…he said he wanted to do personal training. I found it difficult to believe he couldn’t find a school with that, which I said. He was like, nope I can’t find it. I said, well Kinesiology is pretty popular, or even sports medicine. And he’s like, “wait, what’s it called?” Kinesiology.
He thought he could get a degree in personal training. Shit.
I feel like as I get older, I have come to understand more different situations. But honestly, I don’t know if I can forgive a guy putting off school for 12 years because he can’t find a school that has a non-existent major. My girl friends kept being like, come on Lucky, it’s a night out and a free meal. NO, no, no, no. I am not poor. I am not desperate for a free meal, especially if it means horrible conversation. But, I didn’t blow him off just yet…because I am a retard.
He still continued to send me nice text messages and asked me to hang out again but I told him about my detox. He said he would wait until I was finished, then I wished I had told him I was on a year-long detox. When it was over he sent me a few texts asking me if I was ready for real food, which of course, I was.
Bradley: What’s your favorite kind of food?
Me: I like Italian.
Bradley: Favorite restaurant?
Me: I don’t have a favorite—I like all the local spots.
***TIME OUT***I do have to mention that the city I live in is a food paradise. And the local Italian joints are amazing, along with other local food. But when I’m thinking about a date, I want to be in a nice environment…
Bradley: Bradley likes Olive Garden 🙂
WTF am I supposed to do with that? For starters, why did he all of the sudden start talking in 3rd person? Bradley is a moron. I immediately texted ShyGuy and asked him if I was stuck up for not wanting to go on a date to Olive Garden. He told me I was. But you know what? I hate Olive Garden, right along with Chili’s, Applebees, and anything similar. Simply because it’s loud as hell and the food is never that great.
If you like Olive Garden, then that’s great for you. But honestly, all I can think of is the endless everything—breadsticks, soup, salad, noodles…ick. And then there’s the berber carpet and wheels on the chairs. Basically, any place that gives crayons to kids isn’t date material. I’m sorry, but I think there are way too many better places to eat—hell, there is this burger shack by my office. Raoul is the chef there….and damn does he make a great burger and fries. I’ve been on a few first dates there actually and was happy to be there. So I guess I’m a food shob. Or an atmosphere snob. So be it.
I replied to Bradley to see if he could save himself.
Me: Seriously? Out off all the local places, you like OG?
Bradley: Love the attitude. I went to Olive Garden a few weeks ago and it was so good. I love a little culture in my food.
I didn’t think a remark like that deserved a response. Let’s just see how cultured Olive Garden really is.
And now I’m sure you all think I’m a huge bitch. Anyway, I have a date this evening with someone else. And I swear to all that is holy, if he pulls up to Olive Garden, I’m just going to down myself in the endless soup bowl.