Well unfortunately I made it back from the cruise alive. I’m too wiped out and mind boggled to write a full summary of the shitshow of the seas, but here’s a preview of some things you have to look forward to:
1.) Puke on my cap and gown?!
2.) Wondering if I actually completed all my requirements
1.) Getting my underage cousin pants shitting, mini-cruise toilet vomming drunk at senor frogs.
2.) Witnessing and photographing my aunt and cousin rolling oregano blunts.
3.) Meteor shower in da ocean
4.) How I got arrested at customs
5.) How I got attacked by a barracuda and the story of how my blackberry is no more.
6.) How I got saved from the barracuda.
7.) How I got poked in the ass by a sword fish (this one is pretty self explanatory)
8.) How I walked on the bottom of the ocean wearing a giant dome on my head next to a giant ass shark.
I think that’s it. If not this should be enough to put your tiny nipples in France until I can pull myself together enough to get a real post up. Give me a break for gods sake I’ve been interrogated by US customs all damn day for counterfeiting louis vuitton and jimmy choo bags. Thaaaaat’s right. This is gonna be a good one.