The fall of Snoop-Linus

I’m so proud of myself for getting these posts a rollin.  It’s 12:53 and I am even more proud of the fact that I am awake.  Yesterday I had a whole blog written out of what went down between Snoop-Linus and myself because I have been missing him and thought some reminders of the monumental douche that he is would make them go away.  It didn’t, and the story was long and depressing so I’ll give you the short version in 3rd person list form because it’s fun:

-Gizzy eyes Snoop-Linus in class and raves about how hot he is

-Gizzy approaches Snoop-Linus at bar, they talk, they flirt, they hold hands, they exchange numbers, they make out, they go home together (no sexy time, I’m classy)

-They fall in love

-3 months down the road while Gizzy is sick Snoop-Linus takes another girl(who is a beast/whore #1) to a movie, stays at her house, and makes out with her.  Gizzy is on it and drives by the girls house and sees his car at 4am.

-Gizzy confronts Snoop-Linus he has no way out and ignores her for 2 days.

-Gizzy and Snoop-Linus finally talk, Snoop still has no way out and says he wants a break.  Gizzy says a break up will be fine and Snoop sucks her back in.

-All is fine in the world for the next seven months

-Gizzy and Snoop get in a fight, they make up, Gizzy goes to visit a friend, Snoop is acting weird.  Gizzy wakes up in the morning and drives back to school to try and catch him because she has a feeling something went down.

-Gizzy walks in Snoop’s door, sees a pair of heels outside of his room, walks in the room, and sees him in bed with another girl(whore #2.)  Game over.

-Gizzy is stupid and takes him back after he begs and pleads for 2 weeks to never talk to whores again.

-A month later Gizzy finds a facebook conversation between Snoop and whore #1 saying he doesn’t regret that night, when whore #1 asked if Gizzy knew about that night Snoop lies and says no.  Gizzy goes bazerk. Instead of talking/fighting about the situation Snoop breaks up with Gizzy. Again.

-Gizzy, being a fool takes him back but doesn’t tell anyone.

-A month later Gizzy goes to training for work for 3 hours and comes home to find Snoop-Linus not at home and ignoring her calls and texts.

-After some detective work Gizzy finds that Snoop has taken a new whore (whore #3) on a date to their favorite restaurant.

-When Snoop answers his phone the next day, instead of being sly Gizzy screams, “Did you cheat on me again you piece of shit!!?” Snoop lies and says no, tells Gizzy he’ll call her later and hangs up.

-Gizzy gets this text: I need to be by myself for a while and be single and figure my own shit out just want to be alone, havent had time to just think about me as selfish as it sounds.

(This text is bullshit because I am that one that kept his shit together, without me he would have been dead in a gutter on a drug overdose, and probably would be now if he hadn’t moved back in with his parents. That’s what you get for being a nice girl who doesn’t do drugs, you get dumped.  Ugh.  Fuck off.  Anger is BACK!)

-Gizzy finds out that Snoop-Linus slept with whore #3  the day after whore #3 slept with the quarterback of the football team.  Who Snoop-Linus and Gizzy both know has herpes.  And Gizzy out for good.

So that’s the low down.  I think I just miss him because I’m sitting at home on my ass with no job and no boy and he finally quit trying to get me back a few weeks ago and he has been friending a lot of girls on facebook.  Petty I know, but it bugs me.

On a brighter note, I am going up to school tomorrow to see Bri and acts gay but says he’s straight friend Adam.  Bri says she talked to HOTTIE and he wants to see me again, so apparently it’s in the works.  We’ll see.  I know I sound desperate, and I am.  Anyone want to hire me now?!

Our top search results today so far have been “piss her pants” and “sex tips for a bent penis” I don’t know about Lucky but I am proud to have created a blog that yields search results like that.

And last but not least, last night I was helping my sister brush her hair after her bath, I sprayed some detangler on her hair when she tells me, “That spray smells like weenies.”

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5 thoughts on “The fall of Snoop-Linus

  1. […] standing there chatting away with Acts Gay But Says He’s Straight Friend Adam when I see BEAST/WHORE #1 walk in the bar.  I was already aware that Acts Gay But Says He’s Straight Friend Adam knows […]

  2. […] I have recently failed to inform everyone Snoop-Linus has been texting/calling me.  Unlike Lucky I never really made the vow to not talk to him ever […]

  3. Alexia says:

    WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE! SERIOUSLY, WOMAN! TELL HIM TO TAKE A LONG WALK OFF A SHORT PIER! SCUM!!

  4. […] there, slurping down my water, looking on facebook when I see it.  A picture of Snoop-Linus and whore #2 posted less than an hour earlier, standing in front of the baseball stadium with the caption, […]

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