It’s wiggedy-wiggedy whack.

That’s right, I’m listening to the iTunes Radio 90s station right now…and even though it’s only Tuesday, I can already tell this is going to be the best decision I will make all week. It all started Friday when our head hancho let us leave work a few hours early in light of the upcoming holiday. Since I have no life, I went home and watched TV. Luckily for me, VH1 was playing their Top 100 songs of the 90s episodes. I swear, no matter how many times I watch those, I always sit there and think O.MI.GOD!!! I LOVE THAT SONG! So now I’m on a huge 90s kick—an even bigger one than usual. I mean come on, NSYNC, BSB, Kriss Kross, Salt N’ Peppa, TLC, Fiona Apple…sigh. Don’t you worry, there WILL be a post dedicated to the great songs of my past. But today, I need to fill you in on my latest romance with one sir Matt.

I realize I haven’t sad much about him, but I will fill you in. Date 1: Went to dinner at asian restaurant, had some wine, he took me home after, and I had to go in for the kiss. Date 2: Went to see Dinner For Schmucks and had drinks afterward, went to my apartment, but he didn’t stay over. Date 3: Went to dinner with my engaged friends, then for bowling and drinks after. Date 4: Went to dinner, where he was ill…so he went home and I went out with my friends. Date 5: I cooked him dinner at my apartment, we have a serious conversation about past dating.

Alright, so that’s kind of where I am at now. Between Dates 3 and 4 we had an accidental conversation about our “status.” He asked me if I would consider us casual or intimate (I promise this was because my IT guy asked me about it and I thought it was funny). I told Matt neither, because I like him more than what I would consider to be casual, but at the same time, I wouldn’t consider it intimate, since we aren’t exclusive.

To that, he says, “well how many guys are you dating?” This is where I think girls and guys differ (as if they don’t differ elsewhere). I have never been one to be “going on dates” with multiple guys at once. If I had that problem, I probably wouldn’t be single. However, I am really in tune with the idea of being exclusive. My disgusting cheating bastard ex and I were dating “non-exclusively” for nearly 2 years before he made it official…I know, I know, I am the one that let it happen. But I am determined not to let it happen this time.

So we never had The Talk…but it’s hanging out there like a lump of moldy cheese. BUT Gizzy made a good point, that I haven’t been talking to Matt that long, so there is still a little while to breathe before I need to take action. And I agree (PS. Return of the Mack just came on the radio. GOD DAMN THIS IS AMAZING).

Also happening between dates 3 and 4 was our first little tiff. We were talking on the phone one night after work; Matt was heading out to get something to eat and he CASUALLY mentions this:

Matt: I look like Chester The Molester with my mustache.

Lucky: Umm…WHAT?!?!

Matt: Yeah, you know, I grew a mustache for the first game.

***TIME OUT***I live in a city where people would probably kill themselves if it meant the football team would win. So I’ve heard these superstitions the entire time I’ve lived here, and I still think they are stupid as hell***

Lucky: No…no, no, no.

Matt: Lucky, it’s going to happen. It has to happen.

Lucky: This…is a problem.

The argument escalated from there. Yes, I realize it’s just a fucking mustache. But that is disgusting. And stupid at the same time. I told him the problem wasn’t necessarily the mustache itself, it’s that he is so obsessed with football and since I couldn’t give two craps about it, I wondered if he was even going to be able to enjoy my company for the next 4 months here in football country. THAT comment really set him off…he said something along the lines of, “well you’ve obviously misjudged me because I don’t care about things like that. I like you for you and you should like me for me.”

BURN!!!!! I felt like shit. But we both decided just to forget it and move on—which I was thankful for. However, of course I had to put up with The Stache for the next few dates…and frankly, he just doesn’t look as good with it. And what is wrong with wanting a man without a stache?

Without The Stache:

With The Stache:

Like, come on, give me a break. But anyway, I put up with it, and his football team won the game, so he’s happy. While we haven’t had The Talk yet, I feel confident after our weekend activities. He invited me to his house to watch the game with his friends—something my disgusting cheating bastard ex never did. So I came over, bearing delicious treats which they all enjoyed. After the game, Matt invited me to a Labor Day party, hosted by his friends who got married—the wedding we met at.

I happily went to the party, which was at a lake house. So I met more of his friends, enjoyed some home cookin’, and even some moonshine. Eventually, I was getting pissed off at a few of Matt’s friends (they are a whole ‘nother post), and we snuck off to go fishing alone. After we ran out of bait, we naturally took our cup of moonshine and snuck off to the woods to make out. When we were gone for all of 10 minutes, everyone had gathered on the dock to shout for us…being completey immature, they were shouting “we know what you’re doing!!!!” across the lake. Real Awesome.

Aside from all that childishness, I had a great time. Matt is going out of town this coming weekend—following his football team to an away game. But I will let you know what happens in the meantime. On that note, I leave you with this:

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One thought on “It’s wiggedy-wiggedy whack.

  1. […] of us.  So this is a warning post.  It might be different for Lucky this year since she is dating Matt but in years past come November 1st we both become slightly suicidal and look for tips on the best […]

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