1 day until the devil’s season begins.

Autumn is here.  I can already feel myself slipping into depression – I didn’t get out of bed until 5pm today.   Which has been my plan for the last week and a half, today was a “personal” day where I did nothing but personal things all day long aka rolling around in my bed until the sheets are balled up and I can’t move to the point where it starts to piss me off.  But, autumn sucks.

Lucky enjoys this time of year because where we come from the air gets crisp, you can open the windows and smell the stench of dead leaves and sewage, and before they all fall to the ground they are kind of pretty.  BUT, when it turns to winter you will witness a 4 man circus out of the 2 of us.  So this is a warning post.  It might be different for Lucky this year since she is dating Matt but in years past come November 1st we both become slightly suicidal and look for tips on the best way to sharpen a razor blade.  So we need to be monitored closely.  It’s the holidays.

Especially New Years Eve.  I like to get so drunk that I forget who I’m with, what year it is, and how old I am (not to mention that I’m single) and in Lucky’s eye’s December 31st doesn’t even exist.

Typically after that we’re all good until February 1st and it’s the same thing with Valentines Day.  Drinking, crying on the phone to each other, bitching about all the romantic dates our taken friends are going on, and eating greasy food until the hamburgers slide off our faces.

Don’t get me wrong, Christmas and Thanksgiving are no peach pie either when we are giving “Thanks” to God for granting not one of our prayers and buying Christmas presents we would have asked significant others to buy us for ourselves. But, NYE and Satan’s Day are by far the worst. Lucky has even gone so far as to send me a “Happy Singles Day” card on said black holiday.   Also, I purchased a tiny happiness Buddha to send to Lucky last Valentines day and a card with a grandma laying on the beach on the cover that read, “Happy Alcoholiday,” (sorry Luck, you made up with lying cheating bastard ex so I didn’t send it.)

Anyway, you get my drift.  If anyone would like to become a designated caretaker for the next 6 months: cocktailsattiffanys@gmail.com

We pay in Chuck-E-Cheese tickets and hugs.

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6 thoughts on “1 day until the devil’s season begins.

  1. G-

    You forgot to mention my October Curse. So, while I may be having a romance now, don’t worry, he will leave me October 4-6.

    More on this later.


  2. AH YES, the blasted October curse. Lets go somewhere where October is different, like Australia. It’s summer there right? Or maybe we could just go to Germany and hang out at the Oktoberfest and be drunk for all of October? I hear it’s the 200th anniversary this year.

  3. Catherine says:

    LOL …. Can we have a buddy system? I seriously need a caretaker too. This is going to be my first holiday season as a single person since I was 17. Someone shoot me now.

  4. I’m down for the buddy system. But only if it involves Kabbalah-like bracelets and us singing, “My buddy…My buddy…” (you know, that life-size doll from the 90s)…

    I’m a faggot.


    • Catherine says:

      Haha, guys… I’m in!! ANYTHING to get me through the holidays and safely through Valentine’s Day. Nevermind my 26th birthday is in January too. Cue my quarter life crisis. I’m already planning for it :).

  5. HAHA OMG Lets all be pen pals and send knick-knacks of encouragement through the holiday season. Whoever decides they want my presents will be getting a cherry chocolate penis cake for desert for Thanksgiving.

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