Gettin’ fratty wid it.

Ok, ok, before you all start throwing funerals [I’m talking to you Gizzy] for my dear lappy, I just want to say that not all hope is lost. Lappy is still at Dr. Apple, getting plastic surgery. They said it would take 5-7 days, unless I got The Call. You know…the call. I haven’t gotten The Call [knock on wood], so I’m still crossing my fingers that tomorrow or Monday, Lappy will be back in my grubby little paws.

While Gizzy has been off drinking a single Captain on the rocks, I’ve been watching TV. My excuse? No lappy and an illness that could take out China. Seriously, today is the first day I haven’t felt like utter shit [a-thank you Mucinex]. Is it just me, or has anyone stopped mixing drugs after Heath Ledger died? I’m not talking drugs, drugs. I mean I wouldn’t take NyQuil last night because I’d already taken the Mucinex. Anyone??

Ok, anyway. Thank you all, again, for the advice on The Has Been Matt McFaggot. After he called me on that Thursday night a few weeks ago, I waited a day and texted him to call me when he could. But we all know how that goes, he didn’t. But I just left it at that.

Until I went psycho on his ass. On Facebook. Shockingly, we stayed Facebook friends for a little while before I got sick of seeing his stupid shit. Here’s how it all started:

Just in case you can’t see it all that well, McFaggot and I have a mutual friend, Jason. McFaggot wrote on Jason’s wall that he was coming into town for the weekend and Jason wanted to know the plans. So I replied, “Yeah Matt, what are the plans? A weekend full of ignoring Lucky until she takes a hint? Can’t wait!”

Jason, who knew what had been going on, played dumb and let it roll on to see if McFaggot would say anything to me. Which he didn’t, he said, “Jason, I’ll call you.”

So I said, “Wow! Ignoring me on facebook, DAMN!”

Now, I know you all are going to think I’m crazy, but I really don’t give a flying fuck. I’m so sick of guys giving women the fade and us just taking it, because it’s not acceptable behavior. We deserve an explanation, even if it’s something we don’t want to hear. I knew McFaggot would just go back to his friends and say I was psycho just like every other girl…but I wanted everyone to know what he did.

And you know what? It worked. Since the conversation happened on Jason’s wall, McFaggot couldn’t delete it. It’s still there as we speak. A few hours later I get a text message from McFaggot that was about four messages long. I can’t tell you EXACTLY what it said because I deleted the messages [along with his phone number], but basically it said:

“Lucky, I’m not ignoring you on Facebook, I just don’t think it’s the place. The last night we hung out, I got freaked out and didn’t like the direction we were going. I realize if I would have contacted you sooner, I wouldn’t be in this position and I’m sorry for that. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry.”

My friend Anne ran into him a few days later and played dumb. He told her that he didn’t like the “long distance” which is a complete fucking lie. He said he hoped her and him could still be friends and she laughed in his face.

I hope he trips, falls, and his two front teeth shatter. Mmmk. Moving on.

I really wanted to give McFaggot a mental retaliation, so I promptly marched my ass over to Fratty/new guy‘s place (remember him??) and proceeded to have hot, meaningless sex.

I’m not kidding.

Then I called Gizzy right after and we laughed about it all evening. I do what I want, bitch!

And that’s pretty much where I’m at. A few of my friends are already trying to set me up on dates, but I just don’t know if I’m ready for that. I know I won’t get anywhere sitting at home on my ass eating bonbons, but I don’t know how pleasant of a date I would be at this point.

Hence the TV watching. Please tell me you guys have been keeping up with Teen Mom and Jersey Shore…and I can’t forget the brand new season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Hot damn! That show kills me. Favorite moment ever? Nene to Kim on last season’s reunion: “Close ya legs to married men.” Priceless.

A few months ago, I was telling Buttons that I feel guilty about sitting at home watching TV all the time. Like I’m wasting my life away. She said, “Why? If that’s really what you want to be doing, then it’s not a waste.”

And THAT, my dear readers, is a great friend.

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14 thoughts on “Gettin’ fratty wid it.

  1. Love. This. Like, love Love LOVE this. Who hasn’t gone psycho on a dude who’s ignored them before? The only ones who say they haven’t are lying–and perhaps more discreet. But yeah..you definitely have a new and faithful reader lol

  2. 36x37 says:

    Poor Lucky. Guys are such jerks. The guy friends I had in college pulled the fade card on their girls all the time, and I always thought it was awful. I can’t tell you how many times I ended up having the “It’s not you, girl. It’s him.” conversations. And I’d do that because I’d been on the receiving end of a fade or two, and we girls need to stick together when guys act like idiots.

    Hang in there. There are better men out there, trust me.

    • Thanks, girl! I know I’ll meet someone cool (ok, I don’t know it I’m just telling myself that) but the most difficult part is staying somewhat sane and perky through it all!

      -L

    • sp33deeohsix says:

      Haha…if I had a nickel for every time I heard “guys are such jerks”…well..I’d have a lot of nickels =P

      I did a blog about this very thing…although from a guy’s perspective…not long ago actually haha.

      If I recall correctly one of the ladies on the site here said it was a “great post” or something to that effect *looks all proud*

      I’ve never heard that particular maneuver called the fade though. Didn’t know it had a name actually lol

      • That would be me that commented on your post, I think mostly I was referring it being true about not all women being whores. Definitely not about all men being jerks, because they are. No offense, unless you have given girls the fade in which case I mean total offense 🙂
        -Gizzy

      • Hmm I could say the same thing about men calling girls psycho or bitches. Yeah, I’d have a lot of fucking nickels. And guess what? Men make us psycho bitches.

        Just sayin.

        -Lucky

      • sp33deeohsix says:

        Hey Gizzy! Thanks for the comment! They’re few and far between lol. No..I don’t believe I’ve ever given the fade now that I think of it. That’s just not cool. I’m generally a straight forward type. No offense taken..I’ve heard it a lot as I’ve said =P. You only got half my post though! Now I’m sad 😦 haha

        And yes..if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard women called psychos or bitches I’d have a lot of nickels as well lol.

      • Oh no I got the whole thing, that just the only part I commented on haha.
        -Gizzy

      • sp33deeohsix says:

        Oh…well…now I feel silly =P

        and I don’t mix over the counter drugs either. Mucinex works but it makes me feel funky so the most I’ll take with it is acetaminophen lol

  3. God love ya, been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.
    The odd thing is, when you’re taken, guys flock to you. But when you’re single, you wander around the dating desert like a camel looking for it’s lost hump. Sad.
    SO, my advice is screw’em. Work on doing things for yourself, make yourself happy and when you least expect it the right guy will show up.

  4. I think they’re out of stock. lol

    BTW, this post inspired a post on my blog, and I linked to yours AND added you to my blogroll. whew…that’s a mouthful.

  5. Hurray on deleting his number!

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