Guys #1, #2, #3 – Day 1

Well I had to work last night, so I’m guessing Lucky had better luck than I did on the whole meet 100 guys challenge.  I knocked 3 out today with The Captain present.  Honestly though, I should probably just use these 3 as practice because they really pooped on the party, what I’m trying to say is they were no Kelsey Grammer.

——————

#1

Age: 26

Description: Slightly overweight, balding, pale, and weird (basically everything I hate in life, See: Devil) but, liked me enough to ask me awkward questions for 2 hours and keep me company while The Captain and Captain’s Crystal were at each other’s throats whilst we promoted The Product. Literally, this convo happened:

Captains Crystal: CAPTAIN, I FUCKING HATE YOU WHEN YOU’RE IN CHARACTER.

I snicker to myself: In character! heheheheeee

The Captain: Ok! Ok! It’s cool, I’m cool you’re cool, Gizzy’s cool, we’re all good here.

Me: In character! AHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAHAHA

Captain’s Crystal: YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING PISSING. ME. OFF. GO SELL SOME BOTTLES!!!!!!!!

So I moved over to the wine isle and snapped all the little Torres Wine action figures off the bottles and made them have a rodeo around the Four Loko.


Anyway, back to #1…

Relationship Status: Single

Occupation: Liquor Store Clerk (He only gets a 10% discount, not enough for me to go on a pity date to get some discounted booze)

Fun Fact: Secretly gets drunk in the bathroom while he’s at work. (Maybe we are soul mates?)

Did I give him my number: No … Was this a mistake? Maybe, I mean, the booze.. NO NO IT WAS NOT, DEVIL.

——————-

#2

Age: 22

Relationship Status: It’s Complicated

Description: Medium height, medium build, dark hair, cute

Occupation: Student, The Captain’s Assistant (We work together as of tonight)

Fun Fact: He thinks everything is lame and doesn’t get excited easily

Did I give him my number? Yes, for work.  Obvi

——————-

#3

Age: 34

Description: Short, cute, tan, dark hair, aggressive, drunk

Relationship Status: Married Separated (Still means married to me)

Occupation: Works for Budweiser

Fun Fact: Thinks I look “Absolutely Fabulous.” (<— might be gay? Reason for the separation?)

Did I give him my number?: FUUUUCK NO but maybe I should have because, the booze. This is going to be my weak point in this project, if a guy offers me anything for free I’m going to snap off my tear-away underwear and lay down like a real jew in the starfish position.

—–

Sorry I don’t have better stories to report. But, the good ones will come when I am drunk, trust me.  And when I say “good” I mean good for you because anything for me when I am drunk is an absolute train wreck waiting to happen.  It usually occurs when I pronounce I am drunk and push myself  to take that 1 last shot.  At that point it’s like I’m running around with my eyes closed licking whatever I run into.

Anyway, we had 3 hours between events this evening and when The Captain asked me to hang out for that little Captain Break, if you will, I told him I had plans.  He was pretty taken aback, I mean I know it’s no surprise that Lucky is my only friend but I had a hot date planned, with myself.

First, I drove to the nearest blockbuster I could find, rented myself the girliest movie I could find (When In Rome ahh Josh Duhamel, my love) no big deal, then I went to a steakhouse ordered myself a steak, salad, baked potato, and rolls, to go, got in my car went to the grocery bought plastic forks and knives, A1 for the steak, and a bottle of water, still no big deal.  I parked in a parking lot and watched my movie on the portable dvd player I had packed ahead of time and ate myself a steak dinner. No big deal!  If I would have thought to bring a candle and some wine I would’ve had sex with myself in the backseat. I am so good at dates.  Not to mention I was still dressed in full Morganette attire-red lace up corset, fishnets, short black skirt, knee high boots, the usual. Yep, role play. No big deal. With a show of hands how many people feel sorry for me because I’m a loser?

Anybody? It’s cool, it was nbd.

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13 thoughts on “Guys #1, #2, #3 – Day 1

  1. Sounds like a killer time! Did the Caption ask about your plans?

    -L

  2. Oh of course, I told him I was having dinner with a friend aka myself.
    -G

  3. justmarriedgirl says:

    Are you telling the guys you meet about the project or just meeting them to meet them? I think you should only count potential dates/single guys!! Otherwise, you’ll have 90 A-holes, 5 Losers, 3 Douches and 2 Maybes (or something like that).

  4. I think you might be absolutely correct on that. Out of the first 3 I met I wouldn’t consider hanging out with any of them which is pretty counter-productive for mine and Lucky’s hunt for the perfect man, we need to add the rule that we have to at least think the guy is hot, yes?
    -Gizzy

  5. Happy Halloween everyone!! 🙂

  6. ShyGuy says:

    Can we please get to the story about you tying the Captain up? Please tell me you’re still going to do that?
    And as for #1: You should have given him your number. Not saying you should date him, but a guy at a liquor store is always a good friend to have. Plus, stop being so selfish, you’re not the only one who prefers to drink their feelings (See: ShyGuy)

    • Hahah ohhh Shy Guy you’re right I totally need a guy who is going to get sloppy drunk with me and I do still want to tie the Captain up but it fell through a few weeks back because his roommate was home, I’ll post the link on Wednesday for you, but I’m still trying to find a good opportunity to follow through, you know, for the readers.
      -G

  7. As always you have delivered with a few quite interesting items and also I have already incorporated this web-site to at least one I am going to stick with !

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