TTLJIF

Thank the lord jesus it’s Friday.

Because, it’s official.  I need bi-focals. I hope you all join me in celebrating my 56th birthday this coming March.  I have been in the full time work force all of a week and it’s already taking a toll on me.  I have to squint to read little print, my back aches, and I started saying “hollered” as in “Yeah he was hollering about that in the design lab.”  It’s because I work with people who are all nearly twice my age. But it’s ok, I just envision that it’s making me wiser by just being in their presence while subsequently making me a better chess player as well.  I can’t believe I just said that.  Shame.

All riff raff aside, it’s time Lucky and I introduce you to a little thing we like to call “parallelity” it’s the word parallel and identity all rolled into one.  Get it? No? It’s ok, I just made it up.

Anywho, this word perfectly describes Lucky and I because we have parallel lives, which is probably why we are bff’s.  But, our friendship started out over our phone numbers being 1 number away from each other.  People would call her house for me, and people would call my house for her, we both loved Hanson and the rest is history.  Our dads got remarried to women who were exactly alike and got divorced at the same time, meeting new boyfriends and having breakups have always occurred within a week of each other, and most recently the day after Lucky had her bastard cheating ex drama I had a little drama with Snoop-Linus as well.  I know it’s weird right, if I wasn’t a walking zombie I would be able to think of more examples.

As I have recently failed to inform everyone Snoop-Linus has been texting/calling me.  Unlike Lucky I never really made the vow to not talk to him ever again, mainly because I’m weak but also because after all of the things he’s done to me and the fact that we live 3 hours away from each other I know I would never be tempted to get back together with him and would never run into him and strike up a casual conversation, which unfortunately for Lucky is a problem she could face any day.  AHH! Bastard lying cheating ex’s in the same city! BLAST!

He had been asking to take me to dinner to talk about everything that had happened in our relationship.  I had kind of agreed and he wanted it to be this weekend.  Of course I’m still a loser and look at all of the people he friends on facebook, I noticed this new girl we’ll call her Baby the other night.  Now, I still have his email password so I got into his email to see if he requested her or what the deal was, and he did, and they had also been sending messages to each other. AND she is in high school, like 15.  Remember when he tried to get with mom pants? I mean the kid has no limits.

And I have no filter.  Of course I called him out on it and he claimed that one of his friends was talking to her.  I supported my argument with the evidence that his friend wasn’t facebook friends with her and if a 15 year old HIGH SCHOOLER is talking to a guy by god she is going to make sure she is facebook friends with him.  Give me a break.  He argued with me and I basically told him to forget he knows me and to never try and contact me again.  He texted me the next day apologizing, saying that when we talked he was drunk and half asleep.  Still not buying it.  So that is that, men are scum.

Not all men though.  I mentioned before that I had been talking to my high school crush (yeah, the one I puked on) and we were planning on hanging out.  We still haven’t hung out, but the holidays are coming so we will be in the same city, so it’s about to happen.  I’m making the move this weekend.  I’m going to text him. WAHHH!!! I wished him a happy birthday the other day so I’m inching my way in.  I also hope he doesn’t read this, because god would that suck.  He’s really my only hope for any kind of male contact in the upcoming 8-10 months.   So wish me luck, eck!!

I also want to apologize for being the suckiest blogger alive this week.  I’ve been down on my commenting/had a lack luster post the other day that I didn’t finish (woops!) because I’m so tired I don’t even know my name let alone have enough energy to try and be funny.  I promise I’ll be better next week and hopefully with some interesting dramas that happened over the weekend.  Anyone with tips on how to balance work, a blog, and no social life and still have energy to wipe your butt send them my way!

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9 thoughts on “TTLJIF

  1. Snoop Linus sounds like my ex. It’s scary.

    I hope you get to meet up with your high school crush soon! Live the dream.

  2. TopVodka says:

    I love reading your post, you know… It seems like your having fun with your life and your taking things easy… 🙂

  3. Aww G,

    I am sooo rooting for the HS crush! He is a little HOTTIE if i do say so myself!

    -L

  4. emjaye says:

    Ew, please now stay away from Snoop-Linus! I once dated a guy who saw a group of girls and wondered aloud to me when they would be 18. Not okay. I was perma-creeped out and it was over!

    And unless you’re moving to Vagina Village, I’m sure you’re have some chance at male contact in the next 10 months, but yay…good luck with HS crush!

  5. 36x37 says:

    Snoop-Linus! That nickname kills me. I just snorted in my cubicle, then had to look around to see if anyone noticed.

    Happy weekend!

    • Hahah…. I derived that nickname for him from the fact that he loves the ganja (Snoop, for Snoop Dogg) and Linus because he gets upset if he has to sleep without his blankey (Linus from Charlie Brown) I know the creativity behind it is amazing, haha.
      -GIzzy

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