The Real Bloggers of…New Jersey?

I’m sure most of you recall (the most famous reindeer of all) the adventures Gizzy and I had with DDM a little more than a month ago. Thankfully, we haven’t heard from him in awhile, but I figured now would be a better time than ever to stir that pot a little further. Churn baby churnnnnnnnn!

After we had The Fight, DDM (bless his little penis, tool) found it necessary to create a fake identity and bug us some more. The first little jab came in the form of a comment request, saying this:

Jesus how old are you gals? You’ve got to be kidding me with your content. How can you write such garbage and live with yourselves? If you can insult yourselves so much, why don’t you just take a bottle of pills and do woman-kind a favor. Your existence only serves to bring us down. Yuck, show some self esteem and not this fake “we are scum sucking cunts and proud of it” wanna-be funny bullshit you pass off for writing.

And by the way, what’s up with the long left side of the screen format of your blog? How annoying to have to scroll to Japan to read this complete crrrrap!

Don’t quit your day job, or as it may be in your case, the street corner.

Blech!

The comment was from a “Danielle.” Gizzy and I agreed it was pretty suspicious, as the name “Danielle” is very similar to DDM’s name and the complaints were nearly identical. It was less than a week after The Fight and “Danielle” just had an e-mail address, no blog.

Now, I want to set the record straight here. If you don’t like our blog, that’s cool. I’m really fine with it.(I’m not, if you don’t like our blog then fuck you.) I read blogs everyday that I think really suck. But do I comment and tell those people to rot in hell for it? No, I simply move on. That’s the part that I don’t get. So it isn’t that I can’t take criticism, it’s that this blog is for fun, for laughs, for shits and giggles. It’s the ONE place in my career as a writer and an editor (yes, DDM I am paid as an editor and a published writer) where I can let loose and really say what I feel.

And as for the layout of our blog? What is the freaking B.F.D?!! It’s trendy that’s what the b.f.d. is!

Anyway, “Danielle” didn’t get the comment approved, but tried to reply to ShyGuy this:

Don’t let them fool you- they know nothing. They’re a couple of immature NJ girls lacking any kind of life experience or maturity. Don’t waste your time reading this garbage page.

And since theyre so immature they don’t allow anything but praise to be posted BUT- they certainly write back anyone who criticizes them and profanely insults them, I’ll write to you privately and make sure you know this exact message.

Ummm okay wait you psycho asshole, now you’re going to privately message our readers? HA! Get a god damn life you piece of shit. Naturally, I took matters into my own hands to unleash on this fucktard, by e-mail.

To: “Danielle”
From: Lucky
Subject: (no subject)

You hate our blog, yet you read it and then wrote us a comment?

Here’s an idea, Danielle. Go fuck yourself.
Thanks love,

-Lucky

To: Lucky
From: “Danielle”
Subject: (no subject)

As far as that being an idea of yours- it just shows how small your brains are. Are you blonde too? Then at least you’d be living up to a stereotype.

HA HA you’re such an insecure shit I would have been impressed if you actually let the comment through but you’re so small inside you hide from the world in every way. YOU ARE A FAKE! LOL! You are what people make fun of when they attack bloggers. You’re probably a fat bloated mess who can’t get it together living a fantasy life on your blog. That explains why you have no real presence online. YOU ARE HIDING YOU INSECURE SHIT! LOL!

How about this idea? You grow the pair you talk like you have and allow all the comments you get to be posted you fucking coward cunt. Go fuck yourself you immature piece of shit excuse for a woman. It figures you’re a Jersey girl, you all tend to be spoiled brats hiding from the real world over there. You wouldn’t survive a New York minute here in the city.

To: “Danielle”
From: Lucky
Subject: (no subject)

Wow, you are really good at LOL-ing. I’m thrilled you think I’m so fucking hilarious. Listen up you fat bitch, I’m not the one who is hiding—you are! I know your name isn’t “Danielle,” it’s fucking Daniel. You’re a 40-year-old loser with nothing else to do than sit around and e-mail twenty-something white chicks all fucking day. How’s that for fake, fucking asshole?

Looks like you’re upset because no one gives a shit that we called you a name. Your readers don’t care, WordPress doesn’t care, Facebook doesn’t care, and WE don’t care.
Get a fucking life.
PS. Neither of us are from Jersey, so stop acting like you know a damn thing.
To: Lucky
From: “Danielle”
Subject: (no subject)
Wow, I guess I’m not the first one to tell you off and put you in your place huh? So much that you’re paranoid about it huh? He must have gotten to you- or was it me that got to you? What’s this guy’s e mail address so we can share our thoughts about you.

You’re so bent out of shape and insecure- know how I can tell? You call me a fat bitch, but then accuse me of being some guy… you’re not even sure of what you’re saying enough to show some consistency.

And right, you’re not from NJ- sure. That’s you being afraid your cover will be blown. Shyguy is from DC- is that where you’re from? You’d never tell, post or reveal it I’m sure, so you can feel secure being a fraudulent internet hate monger at will. You have no guts whatsoever.

On a personal level honey I pity the guy who falls for your bullshit, but what am I saying- anyone worth while will see the emptiness in you and either trump your fakeness to use you as a fuck toy and throw you away how you deserve or they will run away as fast as they can checking their shoes when they get home because finding you is like stepping in shit for sure.

At second glance you know what’s really sad- that the only people you have posting comments on your blog are either failed bloggers themselves or the never ever real kind of people who only offer fake praise in their desperation for the same in return. HA HA! PATHETIC!
You’re losing this little joust there pea brain, and if I did show you who you’re corresponding with you would shrivel up and die from the insecurity that obviously eats you alive every day – judging by you’re writing at least. Here’s a little fuel for your fire… I’ve modeled before I graduated Columbia Law. And here you are verbally jousting with me under name’s like “Lucky (indicative of a dog’s name maybe) and Gizzy (isn’t that a term for ejaculate?)” LOL!

I’m sorry, but I stopped responding. That little shit was pissing me off waaaaay too much. And clearly, nothing I say will ever get through to this asshole. No, me and Gizzy aren’t from New Jersey (I WISH!) I haven’t even ever been there. And no, we aren’t from DC. And we don’t live there. If we did, I think we’d be hanging out with ThoughtsAppear. And I’d clearly be trying to get it on with ShyGuy. Yep, yep!
And we love our readers. They are not failed bloggers. THEY ARE AWESOME!!!!! THE BEST!!! Which is why “Danielle”/DDM isn’t allowed in on all of our fun. Because he is a loser posing as a model from Columbia Law. What the hell?
Now, this is the part where I tell you what DDM WOULD HAVE DONE, had I not predicted his every next move.  After reading this post he would’ve sent us a comment/email saying how we’re racist drunk bitches blah blah blah and how we need to grow up and LOLZZZZ he should write for us because he’s sooooo cool and a way better writer than our kid’s cat could ever be because he writes about “stuff that matters,” like racism and dedicating websites to his ex gf who saw the light and got the eff out of that relationship.  But now he won’t because he’s so predictable, which is how we knew the fake commenter Danielle was really him.  Not only the name, but also by these KEY words and their punctuation: LOL!, consistency, Jersey, and this phrase: shit excuse for a woman.
Who wants to be in the 2014 class of Gizzy’s School of Law? BOOM.  Eat it DDM.
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19 thoughts on “The Real Bloggers of…New Jersey?

  1. Holy crap! There was jousting and I missed it? (By the way, thanks for the shout out.)

    I don’t understand the reasoning behind hateful and negative comments and messages, especially ones like this: “why don’t you just take a bottle of pills.” When is telling someone to kill themselves ever acceptable?

    I think what you wrote here is great: “But do I comment and tell those people to rot in hell for it? No, I simply move on.”

  2. amanalynn says:

    What a loser! The fact that he had to create a pseudo account just to write to you again shows that he’s chicken shit.

    But what is hilarious about the whole ordeal is that he has the time to read your blog, comment on it (rudely) and then continue to “defend” himself in emails, but yet he is telling you to get a life… I actually kinda feel for the guy, he obviously has nothing better to do and it’s the highlight of his year to even get a response from you girls.

  3. san mateo pete says:

    This guy has *a lot* of time to waste…good lord. “I’ve modeled before I graduated Columbia Law”? That’s rich. Maybe he ran into that character in Black Ops.

    BTW, I was going to comment on the fact that I, too, don’t like having to scroll so much to read your posts. But I’ll keep my mouth shut now.

    Love it.

    peter

  4. Dennis Hong says:

    Are you aware that WordPress logs IP addresses? I had this same issue, myself. I started getting trollish comments on my site from three different guys. So, I checked the comments, and it turns out they all had the same IP.

    Anyway, it’s not foolproof, since it is possible for two different machines to have the same IP. But, they’d definitely have to be connected somehow.

    Also….

    I’m a failed blogger? Fuck. Outed by an anonymous commenter. That’s certainly deflating. Oh, and if my comments here fall under the realm of “fake praise”… well, shit, I’d better work on my praising skills then….

  5. ladybitsandpieces says:

    Honestly, this guy just gave you a compliment. Your blogs are so popular that even guys who apparently hate you will spend all day reading them. Too bad (for him) he’s not smart enough to see the correlation.

  6. justmarriedgirl says:

    What does it mean to be a failed blogger, exactly? And why all the hate for NJ? It’s all so inonsensical and immature. I can see disagreeing with a person’s posts now and again, especially if you feel passionate about the subject matter, but critiquing someone’s design aesthetic on a humor blog? Just don’t read it if you don’t like it.

    By the by, if you’re going to pretend to be a girl, you probably want to hide you misogyny a bit better. Just saying.

    I could go on and on, but it just seems to me like you hit a nerve with this person, and he just can’t seem to let go. It’s sad, actually. Has he no other outlet?

  7. Bitch is crazy and obviously has such high self esteem he has to tell everyone how horrible they are. I know who to come to if I get myself into a comment feud with a douchebag. You win!

    xx,
    Bailey & Girls of Prius Envy

  8. Melissa says:

    WTF? I have never understand people that spend their time being bitches on other peoples blogs.
    Report him/her/it to wp if you can? Did ddm the 1st have a blog? Or just link and email?
    (ok and I am not a fan of the layout either but I love you girls so much I don’t care)
    What a douche.

  9. Shyguy says:

    How does he know I’m from DC? Dude must have read WAY back to get that since I’ve been mostly MIA as of late. (sorry bout dat).
    I’m a sucker for subtlety and love that you made this hater’s emails puke green. Dig.

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