It’s the saddest day, of the yeaaaaaar….

First things first, as of 12:45 pm today Neal Bledsoe has not accepted my facebook friend request.

I just had this crazy, sad dream about High School Crush.  I tried to make myself fall asleep so that I could fall back into it. But, what better to wake up to on a Friday afternoon then a  new post from your favorite bloggers about something that didn’t happen in real life with a guy who I’ll never get.

With all of the recent high school crush dramas going on around Thanksgiving where we almost hung out but didn’t quite make it, made me think that I am going to have to make the plunge and some week here soon I’m just going to say, “Hey HSC I am going to be in your city this Friday night, so let’s get together (ya ya yaaa.)”  If he agrees to it, I’ll make the haul, if he doesn’t, I’ll move away, never look back and won’t wonder what it could have been.

I know, this is all very melodramatic for me.  But, I am very close to getting a job offer pretty far away and Lucky and I have plans to skip town next summer for fresh start somewhere new.  I think I’m having anxiety about taking this job, even though I only plan on keeping it for 8 months, I was expecting to be at home until next summer and have some time to get things out of the way, the semi-relationship that needs to happen with HSC so I can get it out of my system once and for all, but I don’t want to move yet.  Hence the dream about HSC telling me, “Gizzy, it will NEVER happen if you take that job.”  But, I’m not going to not take an awesome job that will give me a little bit of experience just to see if things can get rolling with a guy who has chosen 2 fat ugly girls over me in the past.  Total foreshadowing into the dream. I know you want to hear it, so buckle your seat belt, here goes (from now on my dream sequences will be in green as it is quite difficult to distinguish my dreams from reality bruhahaha):

Lucky was home and we were boozin’ it up the night before the main scene of the dream takes place, we had gotten ourselves some tequila and Korbel (always classy.)  There wasn’t much going on the night we were boozin’ it up, just a flash of us sitting there with Korbel and tequila like big fat losers, honestly it was probably New Years Eve, but I have no idea.  To be quite honest I think it was the night before New Years Eve and this party you will read about in a minute was New Years Eve.

The next night rolls around and we have a big high school party to go to.  Obviously, this is a dream because Lucky and I wouldn’t go to a high school party now.  So we got ready, and for some reason I was putting my make up on like a weirdo.  I put lipstick on as eyeshadow and god knows what else, but it looked good.  Actually I looked better than I ever have in my whole entire life, but that’s beside the point.  No one puts lipstick on their eyelids, not even in dreams.  We grabbed our Korbel and our tequila and hit the road for the party.  I couldn’t tell you whose house the party was in or at.  Half of the people were in a room with a bar ripping shooters and the other half were in a different room sitting at tables and on couches and all that.

Lucky runs off with the tequila to take shooters at the bar and I wander into the other room (also would never happen in real life, Lucky and I wouldn’t leave each other’s side, no man left behind.) So I sit down and this girl, we’ll call her Meg, came up to me and was all, “GIZZY! OMG did you see who HSC is here with?” And I’m all, “WHAT!! HE’S HERE!!!? WITH A GIRL!?!!!? WHERE????” Not embarrassed at all that obviously everyone knows I heart him.   She pointed to where he was sitting, I cranked my neck and made it super obvious I was looking for him, “OH MY GOD! SUSIE?! HE’S HERE WITH SUSISE? HOW IN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?” Susie from our school is a white trash ho.  Maybe not even a ho, but she is gross, ugly, fat, has a bad personality, and is known as a pathological liar.  Susie is her real name, and I won’t change it to protect her identity, actually Susie isn’t her real name, she changed it like our sophomore year in high school from Ashley, and told everyone “Susie” was her birth name and she was going by that now.  I think now she’s got some young ones running around and lives in a box or something.  IDK, clearly I still have bad feelings because she was at a party with HSC in my dream. AND by the way – HSC would never touch Susie with a 100 foot rod in real life.  I just have to keep telling myself that.

So anyway, Meg started telling me that Susie and HSC have been off and on for a few years and they’re off right now but talking again and how she won’t let him out of her sight yada yada yada.  So I sat in some rocking chairs with Meg and talked about what to do about this predicament for a while.   Here is another thing, Meg and I weren’t the greatest of friends in high school.  Lucky hated her with a passion and we did many eggings to her car, among other things.  So this is all just so bizzare.  Meg and I are sitting there watching HSC and Susie hold hands, laugh, and flirt together and every time they would get up to leave the room they would hold hands and it’s enough to make me want to puke right now typing it.

Lucky came in the room and we sat down on a couch, I told her what was up with HSC and Susie and the next thing we know HSC is getting up from him and Susie’s table and says he’ll be back.  Susie is all, “OH BABY! I’ll come with you.” (GAG!)  And he tells her no that he’s going alone and walks up to me doesn’t say a word and hugged me.  And I was like OMG! Freaking out and I’m pretty sure I was like, “Susie? Really?” And he pulled away from our hug and then I saw his face coming toward mine, in my head I was going OMG OMGOMG HE’S GOING TO KISS ME!!

And then I woke up.  Ok, so a dream kiss isn’t that big of a deal to most people, even though I don’t know if he really was going to kiss me, he could’ve been moving in to ralph on my face.  That’s the funny thing about dreams, you nevvvvveeer know what’s going to happen next.  (For example, say Greenville to Lucky and watch her shudder because of a dream a long long time ago, muhahaha.) But, remember I don’t have much recollection of the one other time HSC and I kissed back in high school.  So maybe if we had a dream kiss it would’ve been one of those things like on Armageddon when Bruce Willis pushes the button to blow up the meteor and has flashes of his whole life.  It would’ve been like my life from now to that night we kissed back in high school flashing back and then I would’ve seen the kiss from the night on spring break and remembered exactly how it happened.

Anyway,  I laid in bed for a good half hour trying to decipher what this dream really means.  Last night there was a charity party at a bar that a lot of people from high school were going to be at, I was going to go to with Gigi (some how she knows the guy that I went to high school with that was putting it on, small world) and I had even planned on texting high school crush on Thursday to ask him if he was going.  But my interview far away got in the way of it, and I never got to text him, and Gigi never called me to go to the party.  Also Lucky and I were discussing last night a party we attended in college that HSC was at, so that may have triggered it.  But, I mostly think it’s the job, I think I’m going to get this job and I’m going to take it so that I can move out of my parents house, and I’m going to move far away from high school crush and any chance that was there will go away and I’ll never know.

So, anyone who is like ze bomb at dream interpreting have at it.  I can even tell you what clothing we were wearing if anyone gives a shit lick.  I don’t know why I just said that, but I’m keeping it.

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3 thoughts on “It’s the saddest day, of the yeaaaaaar….


    I’m slowing rocking back and forth right now.


  2. Greek n Blonde says:

    We’ll never know, was he going to kiss you?

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