Single and ready to mingle

If anyone pays attention to our comments section as diligently as I think you all should you would have read that Anth is so excited about me moving to the city (yes, after I just whined that no one is excited to hang out with me everyday) that he has signed us up for a singles cruise.

I don’t know diddly squat about where it’s going or when it is, all I know is that I’ll be on it.   Anth sent me a message Tuesday night asking how I felt about singles cruises.  They’re the 8th wonder of the world, that’s how I feel.  So he asked if I wanted to be his date.  I’m not going to point out that taking a date on a singles cruise is totally against the rules and completely defeats the purpose because it’s going to be fun to watch.  He’s  just dumb and pretty, such a catch.

Chances are I will have to take a few of my millions of sick days to be a part of this once in a life time opportunity, but that’s ok.  I imagine I will be sick most of those days anyway.   In all honesty I can 100% see him making me think that this is a singles cruise to the caribbean and it will be like an evening party boat that sits in the harbor while we all speed date.  I know that’s why he’s not giving me any deets.  Bastard!

Annnnd moving right along.  I’m really starting to get the feeling my posts are like the news.  I just look in a different direction and think it’s ok to start talking about a different story.  Oh well.

I had to get lippy with my rental agent today.  I found an apartment that is within my price range and is beautiful and if I could marry it, I would.

He keeps getting all snappy with me being all, that apartment is too far north for you.  And I’m all LISTEN BUD! I know where it’s at, I can read a map, thank you, but I don’t care.  I want to effing see it, arrite!!?? I finally got him to agree, if I let him show me others that are farther south.  CHRIST! MEN!

I like this place so much that I’m actually nervous someone else will snatch it up before I can even get there to look at it in person. And Anth isn’t helping the situation.  Well for one, he introduced me to the rental agent, so I don’t know why I’m so shocked that I’m getting argued with. But secondly, Anth is discouraging me from getting this apartment because it’s an $18 cab ride to his neighborhood.  I’M SORRY! Since when does the location according to Anth factor at all into where I get an apartment? These guys are just driving me nuts.  Honestly I don’t know why he wouldn’t want me to get it, it’s beachfront.  Mmmhmmm…

And yes, that is a pool.  Beach & Pool = FUN TIMES! None of which his apartment has.  So he needs to STEP OFF.  Annnnd breathe.

The only downfall with this apartment is that bowl for a sink in the bathroom.  I can 150% see myself getting drunk and trying to pick the bowl up and completely destroy the sink/water line.  And I can’t drunkenly leave the water running because it doesn’t have one of those old school overflow drains.  I guess these are issues I should work on.

And I think there’s no bathtub.  Which is only a problem if I feel the need to take some epsom salt baths.  Which I have only ever done once in my life.

Funny story,  remember Mercedes? She used to smoke so much pot when I lived with her that I was sure I was contact high 95% of all days.  One day I got a call from my internship that I was going to be drug tested.  So, after some serious googling, I ran out got some herbal detoxifying tea and some epsom salt to take a bath in to clear my system.  I also drank upwards of 3 gallons of water and ran 9 times in 24 hours.  Which is a sure fire sign that I was contact high because who is that paranoid?  My boss told me before I went to take the test, “Oh Lucy the Blackbeast formerly known as Gizzy, you have nothing to worry about as long as you aren’t snorting crack by the spoonfulls!”  Then my drug test came back with a big fat red flag on it 5 different times because it was diluted.  From the 3 gallons of water.  Which raised suspicion.  Until I weirdly tried to explain that I sweat a lot in my sleep so I’m always afraid of getting dehydrated so I drink a lot of water.  They bought it, but then I’m sure everyone just called me sweaty Betty behind my back.

Anyway yet another meaningless post, I’ll be reporting next week with the adventures of the big city.  It’s moving day!

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19 thoughts on “Single and ready to mingle

  1. That apartment looks gorgeous! Get it! Unless it’s going to make your commute to work long and painful.

    I can’t wait to hear about the singles cruise!

  2. amanalynn says:

    Good luck moving today!!

    Although meaningless it still made me laugh! Thanks 🙂

  3. Melissa says:

    Just find a neighbourhood you love. I commute to work every morning but it’s totally worth it because I live in an awesome part of Vancouver. (Maybe it’s time you introduce Anth to public transhit? Ahaha, that was a typo, but I had to leave it.)

  4. Dennis Hong says:

    Maybe you can take a bath in the bowl that is your sink….

  5. Sweaty Betty, what amazing city do you live in?!

    Can I be your roommate? That pad is SO worth the $18 cab ride. Beach. Front. Pool.


    • You can totes be my roomie!! I am considering revealing the city and making this blog only semi-anonymous, but I have to talk it over with Lucky so we can narrow down who might know people we work with that could potentially cause us to lose our jobs and be homeless (not much will change for me.)

  6. justmarriedgirl says:

    That apartment does look nice, and I agree with Melissa. You should love where you live. It seems like you’re moving someplace warm, and for that, I am super jealous! This means you will have extra year-round fun. So exciting!

    I don’t like those weird sink bowls either. I don’t know why, but they just bother me.

    Good luck w the apartment!!

    • Yeah, I don’t mind looking at the weird sink bowl, I think it looks neat, it just doesn’t seem very functional. But the beach could totally make me forget about the sink bowl.

      • Oh Gizzy, you are such a country gal. Here in America proper, it’s called a vessel sink, and they are ALL the rage.

        Along with single spaces 🙂


      • So glad I have a friend that writes home articles to keep me in the know with all the terms! Now I won’t sound like a tard calling it a bowl sink when I see it in person. “Ahh what a nice vessel sink we have here,” Is what I WILL be saying.

      • justmarriedgirl says:

        And here I am calling it a sink bowl. Classy! I think I don’t like them bc I’m very short, and they seem as though they’d be too clumsy for me to use. This world just wasn’t made for the small.

      • Ooooh good point Gina, I never thought about it being awkward for the short. I’m like 5’5″ but I could still see it being a problem. That vessel sink looks like it was made for a man of 6’0″+ stature. I’ll test it out when I go look at it Saturday and have a mock face wash sesh and report back.

  7. don’t be upset, chinese new year lasts for days and all i hear is happy new year in chinese. AWFUL! and i would say that most people have a deep fear of the dentist. those rubber gloves and sharp objects digging around in your mouth (a place you put dirty things into like fingernails) all the aspects of the dentist freak me the eff out. did you know that dentists have one of the highest suicide rates? don’t surprise me if everyone hates them. don’t feel to ashamed, girl.
    damn i just ranted on about the dentist

  8. Catherine says:

    A singles cruise sound friggin amazing! Wow, what an opportunity of a lifetime. What a blast. You gotta do it.
    And the apartment looks stunning. I don’t know anything about your commute, but come on. That apartment and beach view looks like a little piece of heaven!

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