If anyone pays attention to our comments section as diligently as I think you all should you would have read that Anth is so excited about me moving to the city (yes, after I just whined that no one is excited to hang out with me everyday) that he has signed us up for a singles cruise.
I don’t know diddly squat about where it’s going or when it is, all I know is that I’ll be on it. Anth sent me a message Tuesday night asking how I felt about singles cruises. They’re the 8th wonder of the world, that’s how I feel. So he asked if I wanted to be his date. I’m not going to point out that taking a date on a singles cruise is totally against the rules and completely defeats the purpose because it’s going to be fun to watch. He’s just dumb and pretty, such a catch.
Chances are I will have to take a few of my millions of sick days to be a part of this once in a life time opportunity, but that’s ok. I imagine I will be sick most of those days anyway. In all honesty I can 100% see him making me think that this is a singles cruise to the caribbean and it will be like an evening party boat that sits in the harbor while we all speed date. I know that’s why he’s not giving me any deets. Bastard!
Annnnd moving right along. I’m really starting to get the feeling my posts are like the news. I just look in a different direction and think it’s ok to start talking about a different story. Oh well.
I had to get lippy with my rental agent today. I found an apartment that is within my price range and is beautiful and if I could marry it, I would.
He keeps getting all snappy with me being all, that apartment is too far north for you. And I’m all LISTEN BUD! I know where it’s at, I can read a map, thank you, but I don’t care. I want to effing see it, arrite!!?? I finally got him to agree, if I let him show me others that are farther south. CHRIST! MEN!
I like this place so much that I’m actually nervous someone else will snatch it up before I can even get there to look at it in person. And Anth isn’t helping the situation. Well for one, he introduced me to the rental agent, so I don’t know why I’m so shocked that I’m getting argued with. But secondly, Anth is discouraging me from getting this apartment because it’s an $18 cab ride to his neighborhood. I’M SORRY! Since when does the location according to Anth factor at all into where I get an apartment? These guys are just driving me nuts. Honestly I don’t know why he wouldn’t want me to get it, it’s beachfront. Mmmhmmm…
The only downfall with this apartment is that bowl for a sink in the bathroom. I can 150% see myself getting drunk and trying to pick the bowl up and completely destroy the sink/water line. And I can’t drunkenly leave the water running because it doesn’t have one of those old school overflow drains. I guess these are issues I should work on.
And I think there’s no bathtub. Which is only a problem if I feel the need to take some epsom salt baths. Which I have only ever done once in my life.
Funny story, remember Mercedes? She used to smoke so much pot when I lived with her that I was sure I was contact high 95% of all days. One day I got a call from my internship that I was going to be drug tested. So, after some serious googling, I ran out got some herbal detoxifying tea and some epsom salt to take a bath in to clear my system. I also drank upwards of 3 gallons of water and ran 9 times in 24 hours. Which is a sure fire sign that I was contact high because who is that paranoid? My boss told me before I went to take the test, “Oh Lucy the Blackbeast formerly known as Gizzy, you have nothing to worry about as long as you aren’t snorting crack by the spoonfulls!” Then my drug test came back with a big fat red flag on it 5 different times because it was diluted. From the 3 gallons of water. Which raised suspicion. Until I weirdly tried to explain that I sweat a lot in my sleep so I’m always afraid of getting dehydrated so I drink a lot of water. They bought it, but then I’m sure everyone just called me sweaty Betty behind my back.
Anyway yet another meaningless post, I’ll be reporting next week with the adventures of the big city. It’s moving day!