Dr. Mike and the half lesbian

Ahhh, another weekend in paradise has come and gone.  And it was a drunken one.  I had my awesome baseball tickets this past weekend that I ended up taking Anth to since Mike is married, he’ll now be known as married Mike as there is a new Mike in the picture! But, we’ll get to that later.

I was excited for the baseball game not because of the free booze, awesome seats, free food or even the chance to mingle with famous baseball players and the city’s socialites I was excited to meet my co-workers boyfriend.  There’s one girl in my office who is 28 (unfortunately she was sick the day I needed the tampon) and I just can’t get a feel for her.  She seems nice and kind of awkward, she talks like a valley girl, but wears tennis shoes and hoodies to work (see: not business professional/appropriate) some days it looks like she’s showered and some days it doesn’t.  When I first started I thought we would become close friends since we are the only 2 people in our department under 50, but that hasn’t happened.  When she told me she was given tickets to the game and her seats were right next to mine and that she was bringing her boyfriend I knew this was my chance to finally figure this chick out.  I was expecting her beau to be a geek but I was oh so wrong.

Let me paint a picture of this guy for you:

Except not Russell Brand, not hot, greasy hair, and a 5 o’clock shadow that had to of taken him 6 months to grow, not to mention the high pitched voice.  I shouldn’t judge though, the guy was really nice and they were all over each other, which is something I don’t have, so I’m the ass.  

It’s whatever though, Anth and I drank each other under the table came home at 8:30 where I went to bed and Anth proceeded to go out and pick up the first random chick he could.  I heard them come in the door not an hour after he left and the next morning I wandered upstairs to make it awkward.  If I have to say if anything is fun about living with guys it is simply making random skanks they bring home feel awkward in the morning.  99% of them hide their faces and don’t want to meet me because they know they’re whores.  This girl was different, she wanted to be my best friend, she even made us all breakfast.  Just when I was starting to wonder why Anth was sending me BBMs that he wished the girl would leave and about how she wouldn’t even make out with him (that’s called smart if you ask me) because I thought the girl was great she made the comment of all comments.  I don’t recall what we were watching on tv but some how lesbians were brought up and the girl went off on a tangent about how just because she likes lesbian porn doesn’t make her a lesbian, and just because she wouldn’t mind a girl doing stuff to her she doesn’t want to do anything to a girl and that doesn’t make her a lesbian either.  Ummm, yeah…I think it does hooking up with girls and not hooking up with guys=lesbian.  She was young so we argued with her about it, we told her maybe she was bi-sexual, but no no that’s not the case.  Finally she agreed that maybe she’s a half lesbian.  At that point I just said the thing that was on everyone else’s mind, “Can I call you a cab or something?” And she left.  Hoorah!

After the weekend it was back to boring for me until yesterday when I got a visitor in my office, you would have thought the guy was carrying a dozen roses and a diamond ring in his pocket the way I lit up.  I am a financial advisor of sorts for doctors who do research, so it’s not weird to have a doctor come visit me or call me up to talk about their research.  Typically they are old enough to be my grandfather or don’t speak a lick of english, but THIS guy was H-O-T and can’t be a day over 30.  He gave me his number “for work purposes” and told me to “contact him frequently” about his spending.  OOOK!  His name is Mike, but I’ll call him Dr. Mike.  Just so everyone doesn’t get excited about anything that could potentially happen with Dr. Mike, I’m 99% sure I’m setting myself up to get let down again, Dr. Mike had nicely ironed clothes as well.  The day I see a guy walk through my door with a wrinkled shirt and wrinkled pants I’ll know he’s my guy.  I mean my roommates don’t iron their clothes so it’s a safe assumption that all single men under the age of 30 don’t, am I right or am I right?  Plus how can a hot doctor not be snatched up yet? The odds are against me.

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6 thoughts on “Dr. Mike and the half lesbian

  1. You’re wrong. Pretty much every guy I’ve dated irons his clothes.

    It’s a good sign.

    -L

  2. justmarriedgirl says:

    I’m with Lucky. Ironing is good. I still have to remind my Mike to do it!!

  3. Matthew says:

    I have an iron. Just haven’t used it unless I have a job interview or just need to look damn good.

  4. Do I just attract slobs or what? I have never met a single guy that even knows how to iron. Hrmm.. time to reevaluate my life.
    -G

  5. “the next morning I wandered upstairs to make it awkward.”—Hilarious!

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