Well… it’s Friday morning at nearly 2AM and I’m drunk…(drunk was originally spelled with 3 r’s, thank you spell check) clearly I’m in no shape to blog so…
Buttons recently shared this story with us and we thought it was quite hilarious…we hope you’ll love it, too!
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In honor of prom season Lucky and Gizzy asked me to write you guy a lil treat.
We will start with a lil high school recap. When I was in high school I became friends with a girl, we will call her LaShell Cheesewizzer.
Lashell had a TON of drama in her life. I remember one weekend Lucky and Gizzy and I went to a sleep over at this girl’s house because her boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her over a text… and this was when texting was first invented… SO it was a pretty big deal.
ANYWAY. The girl created drama. But WHATEVER.
SO LaShell and I started hanging out a lot and we thought it would be fun to go to prom together in a big group—there were 4 couples that we had planned on going with. We picked out a restaurant, got our dresses and made plans to get a limo. I told her that I had a hair stylist that I really liked and that we should go there at the same time to get our hair done. She thought it was a great idea. SO we booked the appointment.
About a week before prom she called me and said “So there isn’t enough room in the limo for you and your boyfriend. Sorry.” I was furious! She had found another couple that I guess she liked better and traded me in for them. So I thought about what I could do to get back at her.
The next day I called the hair salon. The conversation went down like this:
Salon: Thank you for calling Hairs Shmumlimited how can I help you?
Me: Hey!! My name is Lashell Cheesewizzer and I have an appointment on Saturday to get my hair done for prom…yeah I need to cancel that.
Salon: WHAT? You want to cancel your hair appointment the week of prom?!
Me: Yep some things came up and I won’t make it. Thanks!
Soooo I don’t speak to LaShell the whole week and Saturday, prom day, rolls around. I go to get my hair done and there was NO sight of her. I was kind of mad because I was hoping for a big dramatic scene of her coming in and there being another girl in the chair. BUT nothing. There was someone else but no LaShell. Boo.
Prom weekend came and went and I heard nothing out of her.
Fast forward a few years. I was talking to my now husband, who was my date for prom that year. Somehow the subject came up and he informed me that his mother had overheard me talking and then called Hairs Shmumlimited and told them she was a teacher at our high school and what I had done. Apparently after that incident the salon made a secret word to cancel appointments…. That is probably one of the reasons to this day that she hates me. Oh well.
I told my mom about the story, but way after it had happened. She thought it was mean but also kind of funny. So every once in a while she would bring it up to me.. proving that I can be an evil bitch.
A few weeks ago I went into a chain furniture store. I had been eyeing this end table that matched the coffee table I already had. Unfortunately the furniture store was phasing out that line and I was pretty much SOL. So I went a different location… the one closest to my house.
When I first walked in there were two employees standing at the counter and no one would help me. Finally I walked up and asked for the table. When one of the girls turned around it was LaShell! SHIT! I pretended like I didn’t know her. We talked about how to get the table and blah blah blah… then it comes time to take my contact info. FUUUCCKKKK.
L: So what is your first name?
Me: Buttons B-u-t-t-o-n-s
L: Your last name?
L: OHHHHH did your last name used to be Ritters”
L: We went to high school together… Remember?
Me: Umm no….
I stare at her name tag awkwardly and then muster up the most surprised look I could come up with:
Me: OHhhh yeah LaShell? Wow you have changed so much I didn’t even recognize you!!
L: That’s what I’ve heard. OK well I will call you if your table comes in.
I leave the store with my mom and as soon as the door closes while my back is still facing the store. I said OMG do you remember when I canceled the girl’s hair appointment? My mom was like yeah why? I said because that was her!!! UGGGHHHHHH Of course my mom said something like “wellll the fate of the end table is now in your hands.”
Doesn’t that stink? Karma is a big fat jerk.
Thanks mom. Unfortunately my mom was right.. BUT a week later I got a call from LaShell that my table was there and I could come pick it up. Fortunately she was off when I went to get it. YIKES.