F the PO-LICE!

I can honestly say Friday the 13th was THE worst day, EVER.  I was all geared up thinking it was going to be an awesome Friday because I was going to get home from work a few hours early due to the convenient timing of an afternoon doctors appointment; I could lay on the couch, bask in the sun, and just enjoy being home before 6pm.  Not.

I had a doctors appointment to have them look over some moles to make sure they were legit and not skin cancer.  I barely made the appointment and had to park on the street because of all the traffic.  The appointment ran over because they decided oh when in Rome lets burn Gizzy and put acid on her skin.  So that was fun, then I come out to find my car missing.  I walked up and down the street in the rain with no umbrella, holding back the tears, to find no car, I had been towed.  Finally I see the sign, no parking between 4pm and 6pm Mon-Fri, it was 4:20.   So I pull out my cell phone to call Anth to come pick me up.  Dead.  So there I stood, with no car, no phone, standing downtown in the street of a major U.S. city in the rain, hungover and hungry.  

I was hungover because I went with JM and Doogie to a friends Thursday night and got shit housed just because it was over 70 degrees outside, didn’t get to bed until 3am and then get up at 7 and went on to work and felt like death all day long.  But that story is for a different day, and it’s happening again tonight so it could be a nice 2 parter.

Anyway, I roamed the downtown streets aimlessly for a while looking for a bus that went anywhere near my apartment.  No luck.  So I just started walking toward my apartment (which was still a good 3-4 miles away) thinking eventually I would run into the subway, I could take that back then walk from the stop to my apartment (which is 1 mile), get online, find out where they take towed cars, have Anth give me a ride there, buy my car back, and go to the liquor store then McDonalds to make myself feel better.  Good plan right? Well I never found the subway but after walking in the rain for close to an hour I realized I should stop being a tard banger and just take a cab.  Duh.  So I get in the cab tell him my address, get halfway to my apartment and realize I should just have him take me to the impound lot.  So he does.  $25 cab ride during rush hour later I reach the most ghetto impound lot you could ever imagine they tell me they do have my car so I wave to the cabbie that he can leave, since cabs don’t frequent the ghetto.  I fill out all the necessary paperwork and get ready to pay.  Then the cunty po-lice chime in: “Um who is Mary Sue Jo?” “That would be my mother.” “Well you have different last names.” “Right she is remarried.” “Well we can’t give you the car unless your name and addresses match. Take this and have her fax in this information then you can come get yo car.”

I realize it’s probably tough to read backward so allow me:

NOTARIZED LETTER

TO PICKUP SOMEONE ELSE’S VEHICLE OR CONTEST THE OWNER’S TOWED VEHICLE, YOU MUST HAVE A NOTARIZED LETTER FROM THE OWNER.

THE LETTER MUST HAVE THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:

1. THE OWNER’S NAME.

2. THE NAME OF THE PERSON WHO’S PICKING UP THE VEHICLE.

3. THE OWNER SHOULD STATE THAT HE/SHE HAS PERMISSION TO PICK UP THEIR VEHICLE.

4. THE OWNER MUST PUT THE YEAR, MAKE, AND FULL VEHICLE IDENTIFICATION NUMBER ON THE LETTER.

5. THE OWNER MUST SIGN THE LETTER AND HAVE IT NOTARIZED 

6. YOU MUST HAVE A VALID DRIVERS LICENSE OR TRAFFIC TICKET WITH VALID ID.

7. THE VEHICLE MUST BE PAID IN CASH

8. THE OWNER CAN FAX THE LETTER TO THE PHONE NUMBER ——

NO CREDIT CARDS OR CHECKS WILL BE ACCEPTED.

So, the lady hands me this letter, won’t let me use their phone to call Anth to come pick me up and shoos me back onto the ghetto streets, cold, wet, hungry, hungover, with no car and no phone.  After I went off on an armed officer about how they were being discriminatory against blended families, I walked.  I walked until I found a cab spent another $40 to get home during rush hour, came home and cried to Anth until he bought my dinner.  

My mom faxed in the letter and I was able to get my car the next day for a mere $250, and when I finally reached my car in the back of the lot there was a fucking parking ticket on it, $60.  So that would be a grand total out of pocket expense of $250 + $25 cab ride +$40 cab ride + $60 parking ticket = $375.  That’s honestly about a fourth of what my car is worth.  Fucking ridiculous.  I understand the notion of reading the signs and following THE LAW, but give people a break- I was only 20 minutes past the time! I was across the street getting my skin burned off with ACID goddamnit, GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!

But it gets better, Anth drove me to get my car out of the pound (making jokes the entire time that it’s where they keep all the stay cars and my car is probably getting gang banged by some SUV’s, yeah funny dog pound reference.  Ugh.) and about 2 blocks from the impound his car ran out of gas.  Mwhahahaaa.  At this point I could only laugh at other people’s misfortune because mine had been so awful.  So we walked in the rain to the impound, got my car out for $25,000; drove to the gas station bought one of those little gas filler upper things, drove back to Anth’s car – GONE! Bahahahaha.  Lucky for him, his car is in his name so his was easy to get out but he is absolutely blaming me for this and now claims I owe him a steak dinner and 1 month of cleaning his room.  Karma is a beeeetch. 

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6 thoughts on “F the PO-LICE!

  1. oh dear. What a nightmare!

    …i did like reading it though

    great post!

  2. How the hell did you have that much in cash? I never carry cash…

    -L

  3. Melanie says:

    that is probably one of the shittest days I have heard about in a long time. Thanks 🙂

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