Gizzy & I just came up with a little game we like to call “What Would You Do?” And no, it’s not quite the same as that Nickelodeon show with the giant pie hosted my Mark Summers. In this game, we ask each other scenarios, whether realistic or not, and you guessed it, figure out, what we would do. Please, play along if you wish.
1. If the ex showed up at your door today and asked you to marry him what would you say?
DAMN. You just HAD to go there, right off the bat didn’t you? Of course, I want to say I would punch him in the face. But, it probably depends on my mood. Okay you said today, I’m in a pretty low place today, so I’d probably say yes. However, there’s no way the wedding would actually happen. I would come to my senses and kill him first.
2. If you found yourself back at John Mayer’s house after a night of partying and you guys were about to do it and then he told you he had AIDS and a condom would you still go through with it? 99% effective remember. HAHA.
Absolutely. Yes. I would totally fuck John Mayer if he had AIDS. Which makes me realize just how pathetic I am. However, do I get to see how big his dick is first? Wait. No, let’s face it. Even if he had a small dick, I’d still do it. GOD.
3. If you had your choice you have to kill 1, marry 1, and fuck 1 who would you chose for which between Fatso, noisy candy wrappers, and Lindsay Lohan’s Dad?
Okay, this is tough. I don’t think the readers understand JUST HOW ANNOYING I find noisy candy wrappers to be. Hrmm….I would have to…wowza this is difficult. Let’s say, kill Fatso, marry Lilo’s dad and pray for a divorce, and fuck the candy wrappers? How sick am I? I swear to GOD I will never look at a candy wrapper the same way again.
4. If John Mayer and Mark Brussard both showed up at your house wanting to take you on a date which would you choose?
Oh, definitely John Mayer. I do love some Marc Broussard. He is sexy. BUT me and John, that’s my guy. For years and years. And Marc Broussard is married, so there’s that. So yeah, John Mayer. Even if he does have AIDS.
5. If your dream man hunkered down and popped the question but when he opened the box there was a ring pop and asked you to loan him the money to get you an engagement ring would you still say yes?
My gut reaction to this was HELL NO. But it says dream man…My dream man is John Mayer…or Albie…or The Bieb? If one of those guys gave me a damn ring pop I would probably wear that shit until the day I died. I mean shit.
Now that I feel completely pathetic…
1. What would you do if Rob Kardashian asked you to have a threesome with himself and Khloe’s chocolate chunky friend?
I would say no, especially after learning in this past weeks episode of khloe and lamar that he bangs girls all the time without condoms annnd sometimes gets them preggers.
2. What would you do if the person in the airplane seat next to you said the following: “I have a bomb in my pants”?
I would like to say I would punch them in the face and deactivate the bomb. But in reality I would probably scream to high heaven and faint so I didn’t know what was going on. I guess the real question is what kind of “bomb” are we talking about here? Heh heh.
3. What would you do if you found out Ciggy Breath and Corned Beef were actually sleeping together and were plotting your demise?
Throw up. The answer would definitely be throw up. I can’t even think of anything but vomit.
4. What would you do if you were on a date with Ryan Cabrera and the waiter brought over a martini “from the gentleman at the bar.” The gentleman at the bar is Justin Timberlake.
I’d pull a little double trouble action and sneakily slip my number to JTimb. For a post date rendezvous. This is probably the toughest one out of all of them. I would be scared Ryan would see, but I guess that’s a price you have to pay for a guarenteed hot man.
5. What would you do if you came home from work, and saw the Hottie on your doorstep with a dozen long-stemmed roses, serenading you with his guitar (he has three arms in this scenario)?
I would probably say yes. Wait, is he proposing? In my head he is. I’m lonely and I really want some roses. Naturally I would tell him he can’t be on any kind of technology so I would trust him. Its the only way. I really want some roses. I’m really enjoying this exercise. I went from no men to 3 men. Wahoooo!!
So, dear readers…the question remains: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?