Thursday afternoon, I got a few weird texts from JBelt regarding the magazine.

He was asking me questions about my salary at my day job, mentioned something about trying to improve his organization, and then said we needed to have a meeting.

Right then. In his apartment. I was to tell no one.

So I go. He was wearing a nice black suit (he has an impressive collection of suits) with a fresh haircut. He looked pretty handsome. So we walked from my car to his apartment. During the walk, this happened:

“I’m probably wasting your time here Lucky. But I’m trying to figure some things out. I’m leaving. I’m going back to Ohio in three months.”

I was immediately sad. I knew he probably wanted to move back to woo his girlfriend back into his arms. I asked him why he was moving.

“I have unfinished business there. I’m 28. I feel this weird urge to settle down. My mom is ill. My family would like to see me more. I owe it to a lot of people there to go back. I want to write for the campaign.”

He said he wanted to tell me in person about the move, and he also wanted to talk to me about a full time position at the magazine. So we went inside his apartment and talked business.

He was considering moving the assistant editor or the news editor into his position, and moving me into the news editor position.

Problem: massive pay cut.

However, I told him I still wanted to be considered. I am always up for a challenge and I definitely know I need a change. Now, living in poverty wasn’t really what I had in mind, but hey, I’ll take what I can get.

The longer we talked, he was convinced he could also consider me to replace him.

Now we’re talking—Lucky, editor-in-chief.

When I left his apartment, I gave him a hug and we cemented our plans for the evening (mentioned in the lovely text conversation you saw)—I was going to watch him fence.

So, that’s what I did. First time I’ve ever seen fencing in real life. Believe it or not, it was pretty interesting. Yet complicated.

I figured I would just go home after the fencing, but he asked me to come over and have some wine. On the drive over, I was feeling anxious. I knew he was probably also moving back to be with his ex, although he didn’t say it, and I didn’t want another night of awkwardness.

But the evening was a delight.

We sat on his couch, drank wine, talked about books and relationships, and it was just nice. More than him being sexy, more than him being smart, I really just love the conversations we have.

Sounds cheesy, but it’s completely true.

The later it got, of course we were both getting sleepy, so he invited me to stay over. I told him I was okay to drive and that I didn’t want to impose, but he insisted.

So we went upstairs and hopped into his comfy bed. We fell asleep without any funny business, and when I woke up from a deep sleep, I was comfortably nestled in the crook of his arm.

I had barely woken up a few times during the night to him snuggling up next to me, which I thought was sweet. Never considered myself a huge cuddler, but it’s very pleasant with him.

Although we had woken up fairly early, we laid in bed talking for awhile.

“I need to get up, but I don’t think it’s going to happen right now…” he said.

“It’s because this bed is so comfortable.”

“It is comfortable, but I think it’s more because there’s a cute girl in it,” he said.


“Do you think there’s a possibility of you developing feelings for me that would cause a problem?” he asked.


“You answed that awfully fast…either you’re full of shit or I am not anything special.”

“It’s really not either of those…it’s just that…you’re leaving…” I said.

“That’s why I wanted to ask…”

“It makes me sad,” I said.

“Me too.”

He was rubbing my back and kissing my neck…but we still hadn’t actually kissed on the lips. Eventually, we did and it slowly lead down a route we’ve been before.

He was making his way down, literally, gave me a tease and then said, “We should probably be more professional. I am considering you to replace me. Did you think about that?” he asked—his head still between my knees.

“Your mouth was on my vagina, no I wasn’t thinking about work,” I said.

He acted as if he wasn’t going to finish the job, but said since he started…he may as well finish.

Well the finish was, by far, the BEST BARTLE & JAMES of my life. Of. My. Life.

When he laid down next to me, I was gearing up to return the favor—this was the 3rd Bartle & James he’d given me thus far, and I’d done absolutely nothing for him. And then he said quite possibly the sweetest words uttered by any man on this earth:

“I’m not going to let you return the favor. I really don’t like seeing women in that position.”


However, my high was short-lived as he continued back to the professionalism conversation, admitting that this was the most unprofessional he’s ever been and he shouldn’t have made moves on me to begin with. But, he did and here we are.

“Does this mean no more play time?” I asked.

“I think so…”

I threw a little tantrum and he said he would take me to lunch. Lunch vs. 3 months of mind blowing Bartle & James?

I ate my feelings in the form of French bread with mozzarella.

Although I was a little bummed over the cancellation of playtime, our conversation over lunch was eye-opening and pleasant. We talked more about his move, and he finally said the ex was one of the reasons.

He said their breakup consisted of the two of them just agreeing it was over and that was it—he said now he feels like it’s unfinished, although he doesn’t know if he believes in this certain kind of love. Well, he’s moving states away to try it again, I would call that love, but what do I know?

As he walked me to my car, he was saying he was single but he just didn’t feel single at times because of the unfinished business. I told him I understood, and that I was happy we talked.

After lunch, I left town for a bachelorette weekend. When I got home yesterday and moseyed upon Facebook, I saw it:

Jesus Belt is in a relationship with The Comedienne/Ex.


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9 thoughts on “Going…going…gone.

  1. Matthew says:

    Bummer about JBelt (though at least you did get a little more playtime); though that’s like giving someone a sample of something and then refusing to sell the entire item to them.

    Cruddy situation period.

    But hopefully this means good things for you at the magazine (again, aside from the playtime).

  2. Here’s what I think you should do… Rip the J right off his JBelt, because seriously? WWJD, WWKMD, AND WWBD? Neither Jesus, Kate Middleton, or the Bieb would bartle and james and then fb link with someone else 2 days later. So. Not. Classy.

  3. I have a feeling that Jesus, Kate, or the Bieb wouldn’t Bartle & James. Period.

    I’m a skank.


  4. Melissa says:

    prude. damnit.

  5. amanalynn says:

    What a loser! That makes me angry. I bet his ex/not so ex now doesn’t know about the Bartle & James. It’s too bad you have to keep it professional!

    • Oh hell no, there’s NO way she knows about that. I am disappointed about keeping it professional, but you know what? I’m really good at cutting things off…so if that’s what he wants, that’s what he will get.


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