Enter to win.

I entered myself in 3 contests/sweepstakes yesterday (ps does anyone know the difference between a sweepstakes and a contest?).

I don’t know what I think is going to happen to me, but I’m hoping to strike it rich somehow, even if by “rich” I mean a free lunch at Starbucks or a kitchen makeover (for a kitchen I don’t even have, mind you).

But seriously, cross your fingers. If I win, I’ll share the wealth. Translation: I’ll give you the Hamilton Beach blender!

Yesterday, despite it being Monday and I really didn’t want to return to my shit hole office, was a good day. Why? Well, it was so busy that the day flew by without me noticing. And 2, I found a spare second to watch last week’s episode of Project Runway (team Andrew Ryan anyone?). And three, I shocked myself by still making it to the gym in a monsoon for a grueling workout. 4, when I arrived home from the gym, I had a check from the IRS. That’s right, a CHECK.

Now, this probably won’t seem as exciting because I don’t think I ever told you about how I royally fucked up my taxes this year. Like, every way I could have done them wrong, I did.

Last year, I did them all by myself with no problems—well, other than the fact of it being completely annoying.

People always ask why I don’t do the free online taxes. Well, because I do so much freelance work. Each company I work for has a separate 1099-Misc form that needs to be accounted for, and the free ones won’t let you have more than one. I have at least three.

So whatever, I do my taxes, state and federal, and send them off. Now, I usually get a small check from the state, like $50, and I usually owe money to federal because I don’t pay initial taxes on my freelance jobs, so I usually owe $4-500.

That’s what it came out to this year: $57 check from state, $450 owed to federal.

Well…then my federal was returned. I forgot to fucking sign them. REALLY.

So I signed them, and sent them back. Oh, but then they were returned again…apparently I filled out a form I didn’t qualify for and I was asked to write a letter explaining myself. So I did, and sent them back.

Well, then I got a letter from the state saying I OWED money, instead of being refunded money. Well shit fire.

Oh and THEN, I got a letter from a state I don’t even live in, saying I owed them taxes!!!!! So I wrote them a letter also and explained that I indeed don’t even live on their side of the map.

Oh but yesterday, I received a big, fat check for $400.00 from federal. How? I have no idea. It seems super sketchy. I even called my mom to see if I read the check right. But I’m not asking any questions. Just keep calm and carry on, right? Okay, and maybe stop by the mall.

Wait, there’s one more thing: this morning, I woke up, checked my email and saw that at 5:41 my editor at the home magazine had dropped me an assignment. Ummm…I haven’t worked for them in months, and I was missing it because it’s the best paying gig I have. Sure, my deadline is in a few days so I will be stressed as shit, but I’m in the money!!

Anyway, on my path to striking it rich, there is only one thing standing in my way—Shark Week.

Why is everyone jizzing all over themselves (Gizzy included) over Shark Week? Yeah, sharks are pretty fascinating…so, watch Jaws and get over it. Like, not many things on the Discovery Channel are worth missing other quality television, let alone clouding up the Facebook feed with your love for Shark Week.

Am I missing something? It’s a week of tv specials dedicated to sharks, right? I saw someone’s Facebook conversation of this: DAMN DID YOU SEE THAT SHARK EAT THE WHALE? YEAH! IT WAS LIKE A BLUBBER BUFFET.

Umm yeah, really bummed I missed that.

If there’s any week on television we should be obsessed with, it’s SWEEPS week, not anything else.

Well, I need to get some coffee. If you know of any contests I should enter…shoot me a line: cocktailsattiffanys@gmail.com

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5 thoughts on “Enter to win.

  1. 2 things my dear Lucky…

    #1 – I have the Hamilton beach blender and it is amazeballs. The easy pour spicket basically makes my life complete whilst getting drunk. I can thank my old roommate (mom) for that one.

    #2 – I wrote out this long ass paragraph about my own obsession with shark week and realized I should probably just make it a post since I have nothing else to write about tomorrow. Shark week… COMIN ATCHA! tomorrow.

    That is all.

  2. Matthew says:

    I miss Shark Week. Hell, I miss cable.

  3. justmarriedgirl says:

    1. I am all about Andrew Ryan.

    2. I feel the same way about Shark Week (sorry Gizzy).

  4. Great minds think alike!


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