I’m starting to get really annoyed with people’s Facebook statuses (would that be stati?).
Some people post religious crap all day long, other people post lovey-dovey shit about their husbands or wives, but the worst, THE worst, are the baby stati—pooping, breast feeding, sonogram pictures, etc.
I am done.
So, it’s time for a cleanse. Any person with a lame Facebook status from now on, is getting deleted. My 1031 friends is about to dwindle really fucking quick and I’m pretty excited about it.
So, join me on the journey…
Laura: Happy birthday to my husband Michael and my cousin Brian! (eh, okay)
Whitney: Good luck to all the 1ls starting law school this week! I’m only slightly jealous. (strange)
Charlie: Dog hair in my coffee…sounds about right for a Monday morning. (These are the kind I like)
Jenny: Tomorrow is the LAST day to reserve a hotel room at the wedding rate!!! (Aaaannd clipped)
Darrell: There’s a blessing in the storm. (No)
Ally: My baby is growing too fast! We have now moved on to size 1 diapers. 😦
Jesus Belt is friends with Melissa and 4 other people.
John: We need a new AC. Any recommendations? (legit)
Okay, I feel better for now. Don’t worry, this cleanse will be a daily event because it seems like everyday someone has something really fucking lame to put on Facebook.
Anyway, I cannot explain to you how happy I was for last weekend to arrive. Between 3 huge deadlines and putting up with Shyneesha’s bullshit, all I wanted to do was hang with my friends and reward my self with an ice cold brewski—and I did just that at least 14 times over on Saturday with Ben and Nicole.
As I am still stuck in the QLC (although after last week I feel pretty accomplished for crossing off a slew of things from my to-do list), I decided to take a few tests to see if that would help get my ducks in order.
First, I took the meyers-briggs personality test, even though I already knew my letters. I just wanted a good reminder of who I am…in lettering terms. And clearly, I’m an ISTJ.
ISTJ: “Trustee” These are dependable pillars of strength. They make good girl or boy scouts! 6% of the total population.
Umm awesome, looks like I should’ve taken up girl scouting about 20 years prior.
Then, I took the Career Vision Job Satisfaction Quiz. It was 37 questions asking me if I agreed or disagreed with certain aspects of my job.
If you got a score of 1 it means you’re relatively satisfied with your job, score of 2 means somethings don’t align with your expectations, and a score of 3 means there is a mismatch between your expectations and it may be a contributor to your dissatisfaction.
Role Clarity: 3
No shocker there, right?
And of course I had to ask myself the million dollar question—if you had a million dollars, what would you do with it? That’s supposed to be your dream career, right?
Like in the scene from Office Space:
[Peter, Michael, and Samir are chatting as they hang around the printer]
Peter Gibbons: Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you’d do if you had a million dollars and you didn’t have to work. And invariably what you’d say was supposed to be your career. So, if you wanted to fix old cars then you’re supposed to be an auto mechanic.
Samir: So what did you say?
Peter Gibbons: I never had an answer. I guess that’s why I’m working at Initech.
Michael Bolton: No, you’re working at Initech because that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there’d be no janitors, because no one would clean shit up if they had a million dollars.
Samir: You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in low risk mutual funds and then take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities…
Michael Bolton: Samir, you’re missing the point. The point of the exercise is that you’re supposed to figure out what you would want to do if…
[printer starts beeping]
Michael Bolton: “PC Load Letter”? What the fuck does that mean?
And then this scene:
After thinking about it for awhile, I have no idea what I’d do with a million dollars. Buy a bomb ass house and dick around in it?
What, dear readers, would you do with a million dollars?