What’s your status?

I’m starting to get really annoyed with people’s Facebook statuses (would that be stati?).

Some people post religious crap all day long, other people post lovey-dovey shit about their husbands or wives, but the worst, THE worst, are the baby stati—pooping, breast feeding, sonogram pictures, etc.

I am done.

So, it’s time for a cleanse. Any person with a lame Facebook status from now on, is getting deleted. My 1031 friends is about to dwindle really fucking quick and I’m pretty excited about it.

So, join me on the journey…

Laura: Happy birthday to my husband Michael and my cousin Brian! (eh, okay)

Whitney: Good luck to all the 1ls starting law school this week! I’m only slightly jealous. (strange)

Charlie: Dog hair in my coffee…sounds about right for a Monday morning. (These are the kind I like)

Jenny: Tomorrow is the LAST day to reserve a hotel room at the wedding rate!!! (Aaaannd clipped)

Jenny

Darrell: There’s a blessing in the storm. (No)

Darrell

Ally: My baby is growing too fast! We have now moved on to size 1 diapers. 😦

Ally

Jesus Belt is friends with Melissa and 4 other people.

Jesus Belt

John: We need a new AC. Any recommendations? (legit)

Okay, I feel better for now. Don’t worry, this cleanse will be a daily event because it seems like everyday someone has something really fucking lame to put on Facebook.

Anyway, I cannot explain to you how happy I was for last weekend to arrive. Between 3 huge deadlines and putting up with Shyneesha’s bullshit, all I wanted to do was hang with my friends and reward my self with an ice cold brewski—and I did just that at least 14 times over on Saturday with Ben and Nicole.

Absolute awesomeness.

As I am still stuck in the QLC (although after last week I feel pretty accomplished for crossing off a slew of things from my to-do list), I decided to take a few tests to see if that would help get my ducks in order.

First, I took the meyers-briggs personality test, even though I already knew my letters. I just wanted a good reminder of who I am…in lettering terms. And clearly, I’m an ISTJ.

ISTJ: “Trustee” These are dependable pillars of strength. They make good girl or boy scouts! 6% of the total population.

Umm awesome, looks like I should’ve taken up girl scouting about 20 years prior.

Then, I took the Career Vision Job Satisfaction Quiz. It was 37 questions asking me if I agreed or disagreed with certain aspects of my job.

If you got a score of 1 it means you’re relatively satisfied with your job, score of 2 means somethings don’t align with your expectations, and a score of 3 means there is a mismatch between your expectations and it may be a contributor to your dissatisfaction.

My scores?

Culture: 3

People: 3

Talent: 3

Role Clarity: 3

No shocker there, right?

And of course I had to ask myself the million dollar question—if you had a million dollars, what would you do with it? That’s supposed to be your dream career, right?

Like in the scene from Office Space:

[Peter, Michael, and Samir are chatting as they hang around the printer]
Peter Gibbons: Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you’d do if you had a million dollars and you didn’t have to work. And invariably what you’d say was supposed to be your career. So, if you wanted to fix old cars then you’re supposed to be an auto mechanic.
Samir: So what did you say?
Peter Gibbons: I never had an answer. I guess that’s why I’m working at Initech.
Michael Bolton: No, you’re working at Initech because that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there’d be no janitors, because no one would clean shit up if they had a million dollars.
Samir: You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in low risk mutual funds and then take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities…
Michael Bolton: Samir, you’re missing the point. The point of the exercise is that you’re supposed to figure out what you would want to do if…
[printer starts beeping]
Michael Bolton: “PC Load Letter”? What the fuck does that mean?

And then this scene:

After thinking about it for awhile, I have no idea what I’d do with a million dollars. Buy a bomb ass house and dick around in it?

What, dear readers, would you do with a million dollars?

 

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8 thoughts on “What’s your status?

  1. Trashy says:

    Oh God, if I thought half my FB friends wouldn’t suddenly notice if I deleted them, they’d be gone so damn fast!

    I also hate the “All the ladies post this as your status is you like/dislike (insert cause here)!” updates. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!

  2. If I had a million dollars, I’d buy a nice house, too, and then I’d watch Office Space all the time.

    Actually I’d go back to my old editing job. I got paid crap to edit and format books for a shady publisher. Alot of the books were awful, but some were alright. The pay sucked, too, but I like reading and editing so….

  3. If I had a million dollars I’d wipe my butt with it and play poo dollar all day with these people and their frickin’ baby stati. I actually saw one of those stati (I like this word) yesterday and I contemplated deleting her too, but I didn’t because her baby is weird looking and yeah, it makes me feel better about my life that she has a weird looking baby.
    -G

  4. Matthew says:

    That is exactly why I try to keep any personal ventures off FB and keep that status for random bits. That or when I have a public question (like the AC example above). That’s why it’s called a networking site people.

    A million bucks huh? I’d be lame the first year because I’d invest it so that way I could live off interest all of the years after that.

    But I’d go back to school to get a culinary and hospital management degree.

  5. justmarriedgirl says:

    Oh, I’m so boring. I’d probably take a nice vacation or two and pay off my mortgage, and then I’d sock the money away in a place that would earn some nice returns. I’d continue writing and probably continue teaching creative writing if they’d have me.

    I will admit to posting the occasional photos of Jude on FB, mostly because friends and family have asked for updates. I try to do it every other week so as not to seem like “THAT mom”. But, I hate it when people do the following:

    (1) Provide status updates about the mundane details of their lives (i.e. “I’m at a coffee shop,” and “Now, I’m at the mall!”)

    (2) Pretend like every day of their lives is the most fantastic, special event ever (i.e. “Spending the day with GREAT friends and headed to an AWESOME party tomorrow. LOVE LIFE!”) Yes, I have “friends” who write stuff like this.

    (3) People who crave attention by posting negative comments all day long (i.e. “Having the worst day ever,” and “My car broke down again,” and “Haven’t slept in three days.”) OR, people who post semi-nude pictures of themselves several times a day.

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