A news analysis.

As a writer, often a reporter, and an editor, it’s important for me to be up on my daily news. When I was younger, I used to HATE it when my dad would hog the TV to watch the evening news, when all I wanted to do was watch the latest of Wild & Crazy Kids.

However, now that I’m boring also, I have come to love my moments watching TODAY before work and some type of nightly news (be it Issues or Nancy Grace) program.

Most days, the news is standard. But earlier this week, there were a few stories that really had me in awe—so much that I stood in front of the TV with my jaw hanging open.

The first of them being “The 4 Year-old Preacher.”

I know I’m not the only one who saw this—I brought it up to my friend at work and she read my mind when she said, “that thing scared the shit out of me.”

Here’s the proof:

Yeah, that kid was on TODAY with his parents (his father is also a preacher, as is his grandfather) the other morning.

When I saw the teaser for it, I thought, “oh, that’s sort of cute.” But…when I actually saw him screaming to the congregation, complete with his handkerchief and the hand-slamming on the pulpit, I was scared for my life, prayed to all that is holy, and then screamed “WHAT THE FUCK?” to my TV.

Because, seriously, what the fuck?

His parents said it was a “phenomenon”—that he was half mimicking daddy and half pushed by the Lord to preach.

Uh-huh.

I’m sorry, but a 4-year-old (who started preaching at just 21 months old) does not know what he is saying when he shouts: “THE LORD IS HERE WITH US TONIGHT!”

Genius or not, it just does not happen. End of story.

The next story is one I pretty much love. That would be the story of “Operation White Cake.”

How do I even begin? A boyfriend and girlfriend had been dating for a bit, they talked several times about what her dream proposal would be and what kinds of things she would like at her wedding.

Without her knowing, the boyfriend planned a proposal and a wedding of her dreams. With all of her friends and family there.

She gets out of the car, thinking it’s just a date, and he proposes…and then they get married. Right then. Right there. He even had a dress. And her entire bedroom set was setup in the new spot just in case she needed something from home.

Here’s the proof (it’s way sweet):

And finally, since today is Jerseday, I had to mention the story about The Situation…or The Fitchuation?

That’s right, kids. My old employer, Abercrombie & Fitch has asked The Situation (along with other members of the Jersey Shore cast) to stop shopping at their store, for fear it is ruining their image.

However, in return, they are offering The Situation and friends, a nice hunk of money to stay out of their stores.

How the hell can I get that gig? I used to wear AF all the time in college, and frankly I still would on the weekends, if I could afford it. So, tell me AF, will you pay me not to wear your clothes?

I could really use the extra cash.

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One thought on “A news analysis.

  1. Matthew says:

    Okay, that wedding video was friggin’ brilliant. Mad kudos to that guy for putting all of that together. Wow.

    And I thought the exact same thing about the preacher kid. There is no way he knows exactly what he’s talking about up there. And he may have some idea…but not completely. That’s definitely “nurture” over nature.

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