It’s a cruel, cruel world.

Mmmhheelloooo (said in the voice of Ferris Bueller when his dad calls).

That’s right, I thought I was going to die this week, more than once. It might be a long post, so buckle up!

Remember how last post I was all, oh look at how awesome my life is!!! I got the apartment I wanted!!! And I get to interview a celebrity!!! And I get the cover of a magazine!!! WAAHHHHH!!

Yeah, well this world doesn’t like things to be going well for the Luckster for long. Last week, was busy, so I was happy to finish it off with happy hour at PF Changs with Nicole—if you haven’t checked it out yet, DO. They have a special dim sum menu and street tacos.

Anyway, I made the stupid decision to go tailgating on Saturday.

All was going well, played some flip cup, yadda yadda. When out of nowhere, this guy taps me on the shoulder and asks me if I know Eddie Marriedaclimbingdyke?

I pause…and say yes, yes I do know him. In fact I dated him. And he broke my heart. He cheated on me. And now he’s married to a dyke and lives in Japan and I hope he falls off a cliff.

So this guy is like, umm yeah I was his roommate when you guys were dating….OH YEAH! Small world. So, we start talking and he’s like, “I’m so sorry you had to go through that, he’s crazy now.”

Hrmm…so we walk around to few bars together. I end up hanging out with this guy and his wife and they buy me pizza…and then I walk about 10 blocks to my car because I’m an idiot, and I also stopped behind a truck to piss—all alone. IDIOT.

Anyway, Sunday I was feeling okay. I went to the photo shoot for the cover, and had to do some work on a new deadline.

I also had to get a new phone (not good for Operation: cheapskate) because apparently mine “had a corrupted file.” I go to T-Mobile and the guy working sets me up with a phone and crap. Well, it was taking him a little too long to set up my stuff. He wanted to walk me through it. I said no, I’ve had three Blackberries. I’m good. So I left.

I had a heart-to-heart with Gizzy about changing our lives for the better—during which the guy from T-Mobile felt it necessary to TEXT me and see how the new phone was. UUUMMMM don’t even get me started on how much this creeped me out and pissed me off. Then, I went to bed.

Oh, but I awoke around 3 am with a swollen, painful tonsil. I was for sure it was strep or mono (which was given to me from Eddie Marriedaclimbindyke).

I wokeup in time for work and had a slight fever. However, I had a few meetings to attend and a deadline to meet. So I told myself I would get all that done before lunch and then come back home to rest.

As the meetings passed, I could feel the fever rising. So I finished my crap, and bolted out of there. I went home, took a Benedryl and slept. I woke up feeling like I’d slept for days (my hair was all kinds of crazy), but when I checked the clock it had only been an hour. My throat was hurting, but I was more concerned about my fever—102 and quickly rising.

These are the moments I don’t like living alone. I’m afraid I’ll go to sleep and never wake up or fall or whatever. So I decide to take a bath to ease my freeze. Well that led to fears of passing out and drowning. I made sure to keep myself sitting up in the tub at all times.

So then, I reached out for help texting Gizzy and my parents about at what moment do I take myself to the ER?

Well, my dad calls me and tells me that he is busy and I don’t need to be bothering him with my personal problems.

Okay, thanks—I will take yellow roses at my funeral, dad.

But my sweet mom, calls and gives me some tips to lower my fever and made sure to check on me throughout the night.

Tuesday morning, I woke up feeling slightly better. Yes, I still had a sore throat, but my fever was down to 99. So I went to the dentist for my scheduled fillings.

And you know…what a cycle of events. I’m a firm believer that germs cause illness, not weather, or food. However, when I don’t rest and my immunities are down, the germs are just let in. So the cycle is Lucky is informed she has to have $800 of dental work—>Lucky takes on ridiculous amounts of freelance work and says I’ll sleep when I die!!!—>Lucky faces death—>Lucky has to have dental work done while facing death.

If you think going to the dentist is bad, think about having swollen tonsils and a fever, while having a dental block crammed in your mouth and some drilling.

Luckily, it didn’t hurt at all. The shots were the worst part, and those don’t really bother me. The drilling for all 4 cavities was no more than 5 minutes.

So I went home, slept, was lazy…I had already taken the day off. But my fever was back up and my throat was the worst. To top it off, I had to interview The Miranda Lambert. Yep. With a fucking frog voice that hurt to talk. It was the best and worst interview of my life.

I went to sleep and around 1:30 am, I started waking up every 20 minutes. My throat hurt so bad I couldn’t swallow and my fever was 103.

I considered the ER. But I figured I could hold out until morning.

So I tried to sleep. Around 4:30, I woke to a weird noise in my kitchen. I was scared it was a mouse…but I got up and saw nothing. I slowly walked around…the floor was wet. The fridge? But when I leaned down, a drop hit my head. My ceiling was leaking.

At this very moment, I just had to laugh. I had been served one of the shittiest weeks ever. So, there I was, at 4 am, with a 103 fever, mopping my kitchen floor and setting up buckets. The weird thing is…I don’t live on the top floor—there’s someone above me. And the water was coming from a light socket. Wonderful.

All I could hope was that my car started in the morning to take me to the doctor.

It did. The doctor was nice, I told her the problem. And she looked in my mouth.

“OH MY GOD! You’ve got a giant puss pocket! Your tonsils are like acorns!”

She then went on to say I should get my tonsils taken out. Whatever. I quickly got a strep test, followed my 2 shots in each side of my ass. But hey, I got loads of pills and I’m stoked over it.

I came back home and finally got a peaceful sleep—4 hours long.

So, there. I’m alive. And I’m happy to be on the mend…can’t kill me yet WORLD!

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4 thoughts on “It’s a cruel, cruel world.

  1. I’m glad you’re feeling better!

  2. Matthew says:

    Holy crap. I feel like you should be sent the largest muffin basket known to man-kind (but instead of all muffins maybe mix in some whiskey or tequila because they sometimes help when felling ill).

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