Beer Me!

You guys totes thought I was getting away without a post today, huh?  No siree!! I was planning on not posting anything because I have nothing to talk about, but then… something happened.

I was sitting at work craving candy bars and cheese fries while twiddling my thumbs when I decided to look at my bank account.   I only get paid once a month and let me tell you, it is ROUGH.  

First, I have to pay all my bills at the beginning of the month and hope I can survive on what’s left.  I also have a percentage of my paycheck automatically moved into my savings account (that I usually end up transferring back into my checking for extras throughout the month like Sunday Funday and that pink 1 shoulder dress JWOWW was wearing on Jersey Shore that I had to order from London :/ ) and if I have nothing left the 3rd week into the month then that’s just life and I’m going to have to eat my finger nails. But this month THIS MONTH I did really well and I had $25 left that I saw today (tomorrow is payday).  So my wheels started turning and I decided to get wings and beer from a restaurant tonight for dinner.

So I picked up my wings after work, bolted through the grocery to get my beer, and got in line behind a hot tall drink of water.  I’m sure at some point he saw my face of disgust that him and the girl infront of him both had their carts full of food and all I had was my beer (and my wings that were getting cold in the car minute by minute while I stood there).  Finally, just before the extreme couponer infront of him was finished checking out, the hottie turned around and said, “Here, you can go infront of me.”  and I was all… “Omg are you sure????” Whilst batting my eyes at him.  And he was like, “Yeah I mean I’ve got a bunch of produce and stuff and all you have is that beer.”  And say, “Oh yeah, well I like my beer! Thanks so much!” As soon as I heard that come out of my mouth I thought to myself, really?! This is why you are single.  I like my beer, you could not sound like more of an alcoholic.

As I’m standing there I’m thinking if I should keep talking to this guy.  Is letting someone cut infront of you at the grocery the same as if someone buys you a drink at a bar? If they buy you a drink you have to stand there and talk to them while you drink it, so if he lets me cut, I need to stand there and talk to him while in line?  I’ve never been in line behind anyone nice enough to let me cut, so I’m a little behind on my line etiquette.  

Anyway, I didn’t keep talking to him, because we’re talking I was at the grocery craving some bud light limes after a long day at my work aka the sub tropics, my makeup was all over my face, my hair was all crazy pants, and frankly I just looked a lot like this: 

Minus the maid outfit? But, I think not talking to him was helping my case a lot more than talking to him would have.  If he would’ve asked where I was off to with my case of beer and I told him my bed to watch Sex and the City reruns, he might have thought I was a loser.  

So does anyone have any grocery line etiquette tips for me in case this happens again?  Next time I need to be more prepared and powder my nose before beer shopping.  This was a good opportunity to meet a total stranger and I missed it! RATS!

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9 thoughts on “Beer Me!

  1. Tee hee hee. Whatever – what more do dudes want than a chick that’s top priority is buying beer? (Preferably for him while he’s watching football… but either way….)

    At least he wasn’t letting you cut in line to buy your tampons and midol.

    • Oooh you’re totally right! It’s a good thing I bought my tampons and midol at lunch (seriously, I did) because if not that would have absolutely been the case. And THAT would’ve been more embarrassing than openly admitting that I was about to go home and drink a 6 pack alone in bed.

  2. Maybe he was hoping you’d give him a beer.

    I let a lady go in front of me the other day who only had 3 things. One of those 3 things was Red Velvet cupcakes. I was hoping she’d offer me one in exchange for letting her go first. She didn’t.

    • I should have! I didn’t even think about that.. I know all guyus secretly like bud light lime so he was probably all like “YES!! Now I don’t have to go to the other side of town to get one where no one will see me.”

  3. justmarriedgirl says:

    I don’t think there’s a hard and fast rule re: etiquette in this situation, but I do think that there’s no harm in chatting if the guy is cute. First, check that there’s no wedding ring. No reason to come up with witty banter if he’s just bringing those Corn Flakes home to his wife and kids.

  4. Well… you must be a rare breed then Matthew. Or my fratty roommates are just uber fratty, I’ve never seen either of them buy anything that wasn’t pre-cooked.

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