I have been locked into moving hell. For a majority of my weekend, I packed. Moving day is in T-minus 7 days—yes I’m excited, but I still feel like I have lots of work to get done.
However, my living room, bedroom and my kitchen are down to the bare bones—furniture and tvs. That’s it! Although it looks kind of dead, I appreciate the minimalist feel it has. I’m hoping I’ll remember that once moving day comes so I won’t be inclined to junk up the new place.
In the midst of all this moving fun, I am selling tons of random crap on eBay. To my surprise and delight, someone took me up on a “buy it now” offer I had on an item for sale last week.
The item was given to me as a gift by a now ex friend, we’ll call her Roach.
Roach and I met bartending together. We had the best of time, and clearly, the worst of times.
Years ago, Roach set me up on a date with one of her friends, Kyle. He was cute, really buff, and had longish blonde hair that I enjoyed. We met up as a group a few times, but I got the vibe that he wasn’t really feeling me.
Oh well, no biggie.
One day, Roach and I went out to lunch. As we sat down, the waiter came by—a friend of Roach’s.
He snickered and was all, “soooo how are things with Kyle?”
I hadn’t mentioned Kyle to him, so I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. Until I looked at Roach’s face.
The waiter had blown her cover—he quickly walked away.
“YOU’RE seeing Kyle?” I asked.
“Well…we’ve hung out a few times,” she said.
“I know it wasn’t going to work out between him and I, but that’s pretty shady,” I told her.
“How am I supposed to trust you?” I asked.
I left the lunch and haven’t spoken to Roach since then. Maybe I overreacted. But I felt like if she liked the guy, why would she set me up and get my hopes up?
Anyway, during our friendship, she got me this gift for my birthday. It was a sterling silver little monkey sitting Indian style on a black wooden block. His arms were reaching over his head, his hands flat, holding a tray for business cards.
I honestly don’t know why she thought this was an acceptable gift.
So I put it on eBay and someone bought it for $30.
I happily packed the silver monkey in a box and headed off to the post office the next morning. When I arrived, my mom called me—the day before was her birthday and I had mailed her a box of homemade cookies.
So, I sat in the car (in the post office parking lot) for a bit a talked to her before I really needed to mail the box and get to work.
I walk in, mail the box and am heading out of the post office to my car. I was about five steps there when I saw a man coming toward the door. His arms were stacked with boxes nearly covering his face—there were even bags on his arms.
I stopped and thought—should I open the door for this guy? I can’t be in that big a hurry.
So I pretty much leaped back to the door and opened it for the man, who was dressed ready for a day at the office.
He hesitated to say anything to me…and eventually he whispered, “Oh…well…that was really nice.”
Hmm…weird. I didn’t say anything and waited until he was all the way inside before letting go of the door.
And so, I walked to my car…happy I did something nice before 8 am.
As I was putting on my seat belt, the guy was already coming out of the post office. I paused.
It was The Has Been Matt McFaggot.
Pretty much exactly a year ago, he hurt me. Bad. And I really haven’t been on a proper date since then.
Awesome. Because I just opened the fucking door for him.
I sat in my car and watched in awe as he walked to his car. The car he took me on dates in.
I was in shock for most of the day, but as my friend Ashley told me, “as least you looked like you are so over him that you could open the door for him.”
True story. But I still wish I would’ve tripped him.