First, I need to say how much I HATE Teresa Giudice. I mean seriously, is she not the most condescending, hypocritical, dumb, bat shit crazy, bitch you’ve ever seen? The Jersey Housewives Reunion was so awful and painful to watch because I want to jump through the screen and kill her. Seriously, what a bitch, there are no words. She is evil.
With that being said… Yesterday one of mine and Lucky’s guy friends from high school/high school crush’s high school best friend commented on a facebook status of mine, and the comment was in reference to something that happened during our Senior year spring break, also known as the spring break I puked on high school crush. The comment got me thinking about our core crew for that Spring break and our regular group of friends our senior year. Allow me to describe them, see if you notice a trend:
Closet Cyber Freak: A quiet shy guy on the outside, but when he would MSN chat us in high school he would pull out all the stops and would become a huge sex FREAK. Basically trying to have cyber sex with everyone. Our senior year I dropped Lucky off at his house and circled the block so they could get a quick hanky panky sesh in on the side of his house. We had a good laugh about it, and still do. Current relationship status: Single.
High School Crush: You’ve all heard enough about him. Current relationship status: Single.
High School Crush’s High School Best Friend: Lucky had a crush on him our freshman year. He’s also the facebook commenter. Relationship Status: Single.
Fake ID Guy: Our most hilarious friend, he had his older brother’s (who was a MAJOR crush of Lucky’s in high school) license and would get us all booze with it. Always full of surprises. Relationship Status: Single.
Military Cop: He creeped on Lucky for a while, I think they may have even gone on a date or two until he got aggressive and creepy, but he’s just a really tall guy…. I don’t know what else to say. Relationship Status: Single
Crazy Lightweight Guy: We all used to question if he was really getting drunk because it would take him like 2 sips to be wasted. One night during our Senior Spring break someone gave him straight lemonade to see if he would pretend to be drunk, his comment? “Guys! I think my tolerance is getting better, I don’t feel drunk!” He’s a good guy and was one of mine and Lucky’s better friends in the group. Relationship Status: In a relationship
Valentines Day Fazoli Dinner Guy: I dated this guy for a few months, he took me to dinner at Fazoli’s for Valentines day and him and Military Cop came on spring break and crashed in everyone’s room. Which made everyone mad, but I still threw him a makeout the last night there. Relationship Status: Single
Lucky’s Spring Break Fling: Lucky and this guy hit it off over spring break. When we came back he was basically a big ass wipe to her and for that I curse him. They had another steamy night the summer after our freshman year of college or sophomore, I can’t remember. Relationship Status: As far as I’ve heard, single, but he doesn’t have facebook.
There are a few other guys who were on the trip as well, but they didn’t frequent our group as much as everyone else after the trip so we’ll leave them out. But, does anyone else see a pattern here? Between these guys, Lucky, and myself, only 1 out of 10 is even in a relationship. While pretty much everyone else from high school is married and on their 2nd kid.
It doesn’t make sense to me. Not one of these guys is hideous or 900 pounds, has an awful personality, does drugs, is a secret serial killer, a criminal, or a man whore. They’re all cute, pretty normal, successful guys, yet they’re in the same place as Lucky and myself.
I just don’t get it. Is there some way we could’ve all rubbed the “destined to be single forever” curse on to each other back in high school? You would think that since we are approaching our late 20’s most of the group would at least be in a relationship. But we have 1, 1 person from the group who isn’t single. I don’t know what to make of this other than obviously Lucky and I are both meant to marry one of them. Sorry Luck, fate beckons.