Lucky and I often talk about our finances. I know, SHAME ON US! That is like the cardinal rule of friendships, you don’t ask or tell about personal finances. But what do we have to hide? We’re both poor as shit so why do we care if the other knows it? It gives us yet another thing to bitch about together.
A lot of times we talk about how we don’t understand how all of these people, who we know can’t make much more than us if they even make more than us at all, can afford such lavish things like new homes, new cars, new furniture, expensive vacations, and can all around blow their hard earned monies on things Lucky and I only dream about. Like, name brand food and going out to eat for every meal.
ESPECIALLY, those who are stay at home mothers. That really irks me. It’s like, you’re telling me that a family of 4 can live in our hometown off of probably the same salary I make and I am barely staying afloat? Something just doesn’t add up here. I realize that my rent is insanely expensive for having 2 roomates and that these individuals probably spend a few hundred dollars less on a mortgage each month. But still, $200 = the payment on ONE of their new cars. And we’re even again.
I went to school for finance, I budget my funds. I know exactly how much I can spend each week on gas, groceries, and miscellanous items in order to be able to put $500 in my savings each month. $500! That’s it. That would be enough to send Stay at home Mom’s left boob on a vacation. And each month something comes up where I have to take that $500 out of savings and spend it on something that makes me want to puke. Ie, a dresser and night stands in June, necessities (towels, cleaning supplies, etc) in July, dental work in August, my Mom’s birthday party in September (ok this was money well spent), etc…etc.. And if it weren’t for getting in that car accident in July I’d have nothing in my savings at all.
SO HOW ARE ALL THESE FAMILIES DOING THIS CRAP!!!????
Was I just an unfortunate child in the fact that my parents didn’t pay for all of my college and now I’m stuck with a $350 loan bill each month? And all these swanky stay at home mom’s and their hubbers parents paid their way all through school so now they’re taking the $700 a month that would be put toward student loan payments and wiping their asses with it?
Often times Lucky and I will share penny saving tips with each other. She enlightened me to the dollar store, and we jizzed ourselves when I found an Aldi and got my entire week’s groceries for $12. That’s the other thing, I don’t see these moms all over facebook bragging about their extreme couponing or super savings at the local food bank. But yet, it never fails, each Sunday they’re posting pictures of all the cool expensive things they did that weekend with their kids.
So I need all of our wonderful readers out there to do 2 things for me, #1 – Tell Lucky and I how awesome we are for supporting ourselves, and #2 Tell me how these families are doing it? What is this obvious money saving secret that everyone knows about except for Lucky and I?
I just feel like, if I had a husband and 2 kids and say I was the only one working and he stayed at home with the two kids. First, we would be living off food stamps because my entire salary would go toward our rent. Second, even if we crammed our family of 4 into my master bedroom and still let Anth and Doogie live with us the kids would be dressed in trash bags because I wouldn’t be able to afford to feed them AND buy them diapers and clothes. Forget buying them toys or books – here’s an empty tampon box to play with oh child of mine.
I’m not currently having sex, but if I start in the near future before I get a $50,000 a year raise I’m going to quadruple up on the birth control. The pill, nuva ring, the shot, and a condom – give it all to me, because I cannot afford a husband and children. Also, did I mention twins are genetic in my family? Yep, if I ever get preggers the chance of me having twins is better than not having twins. FML.