Before I go into details on my raz-ma-taz weekend away, I need to tell you all a story of something that happened to me on Friday…
I was sitting in my cube at work minding my own business when the crazy old Asian man came up and striked up a conversation with me, he asked how I am and if I had a lot of work, which the answer is always yes. He said he does too but he wanted to socialize instead of work. Well, don’t we all.
Then he asked if I had any big plans for the weekend, I didn’t want to go into detail about my trip and carry the convo on even longer, so I just said no that I’d probably just be hanging out at home. Then he asked what I did the night before and makes the assumption that I had a pajama party with my roommates (I have yet to tell him that I live with 2 frat guys) I laughed and said no I just watched tv like I do every night. He said, “Ohh every night? Until your boyfriend calls up and says lets go do something, right?” I replied, “No no, that doesn’t happen, I don’t have a boyfriend.” He gasped, “YOU DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I rolled my eyes, “Nope.” And he said, “No boyfriend, well what are you doing with your life?”
Like, really? Just because I am still single my whole life is a waste? I wasn’t aware that a single girl in her twenties was such a disgrace to mankind.
THEN he said, “Is it because of your religion or something?” Like yes, a suburban white girl from America is a part of a religion that doesn’t allow her to date until her parents will her away to a spouse of their choosing. Come. On.
After he offended me and basically told me to go kill myself because I have no reason for being in existence unless I’m in a relationship, he spilled coffee all over my papers. Just seriously, get the fuck out of my cube. Christ.
Anyway, the weekend away for the football game was a freaking BLAST. I really needed it, and although I was hesitant to go I’m so happy that I did. I haven’t laughed that hard in YEARS. My stomach muscles are sore just from laughing. Anyway, here’s what went down…
We had all planned to meet at Anth’s office in the suburbs around 5:45-6 o’clock to head out. I work the furthest away from Anth’s office and needed to leave by 4 to get there by 6. Well, because of a meeting I took with a hot doctor (a story for another day) I didn’t get to leave work until 4:45… awesome. My plan was to drop my car off at my apartment and take the subway to his office – by the time I got home it was already 5:45, then I spent another half hour looking for a cab to take my to the subway. No dice.
At 6:15 I texted Anth to just leave without me because I didn’t want to make everyone wait. He was all, we’re not leaving without you, just get here. So at 7:15 I pull up, we got some dinner and off we went for a 2 hour drive.
We got to our hotel about 10:15. And let me tell you, this place was a GEM. One of the girls found blood on her sheets and the beds were all like mini-sized. Which I wasn’t expecting. Typically all hotel beds look pretty much the same no matter what hotel you’re staying at. But these beds were clearly made for midgets and they got a deal on them. The crappy hotel definitely added to the experience though since we were all drunk and afraid to go to sleep.
We ended up going out to an “undergrad bar” and found no attractive people (that means no 21 year old college boys for me to make out with). Although, Anth did get his butt grabbed twice by passer bys.
We all got the perfect amount of drunk and closed down the bar. As I’ve mentioned before, I live in one of the larger US cities where it’s not necessary to call for a cab. You just wave your hand and 50 of them appear (except on Friday night). None of us really took that into account so we were waiting for a good 45 minutes after the bars closed for a cab to come get us.
While we’re waiting we see a rickshaw pass by with a couple in it. You don’t see a lot of those in the big city (they should probably have them though) and we were all pointing and giggling like, OMG lets find a rickshaw to take back to our hotel.
Apparently the angry black girl riding on the rickshaw thought we were making fun of her for riding in it and started yelling and hanging out of it being all, “BITCH! It’s cheap. This is what you gotta do in this economy.” And we were just like whatevs and carried on with our conversation.
The next thing I know the rickshaw driver pulled over and they sat there for a minute. Then the angry girl got out and walked over and got up in our faces.
I’m still not entriely sure what she was saying, I just know spit was flying and fingers were being pointed and she kept calling the guys bitches and then she told us all that we were the 1%. Which pissed us all off. That whole we are the 99% occupy wallstreet thing irritates the piss out of me to begin with because it’s another thing that people are wasting their time on that nothing will ever come from. Anyway, we all just told her to get back on rickshaw and leave us alone and that she was cray cray…
THEN, the coppers showed up… *boop*boop* they jumped out of the car and said, “We’re going to need you all to come with us…”
…To be continued…