I don’t even know what to do right now. I can’t even think to write a proper introduction into today’s topic: still that my family is incestuous and I want to divorce them.
When I wrote Tuesday’s post, the last I had heard from my step-aunt and uncle’s nephew was that he was moving to California and would be busy for the next 3 years – so my family’s plans for me to have a bunch of incest babies wasn’t going to work. Ugh, I want to barf.
Anyway, I wrote him back on Monday saying, “Oh wow… I can’t say I blame you, I would choose to move to California too. Good luck with everything.” I assumed that would be the end of it, because what’s the point in continuing to talk if he has no plans of moving here until I’m 30?
So I thought it was done, I could relax and tell the family that the incest just wasn’t meant to be. Then, Monday night while I was out running some errands, I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize, so I hit the ignore button. When I listened to the voicemail it was him! “Hey Gizzy, this is Totes-Ok-With-Incest-Guy, Step-Aunt and Uncles FRIEND. Please give me a call back if you have a chance, my number is 123-456-7890.” You read correctly, Step-Aunt and Uncles FRIEND… nice cover up, guy.
I immediately consulted with Lucky. Should I call him back? Should I change my number? Should I text him and tell him I died? In case you didn’t know, Lucky always gives the best advice. She told me not to call him for the exact reasons I mentioned above, he is busy for 3 years and I’m not interested, so no point in wasting everyone’s time, right? Right!
Well, then I started to think of all the shit I was going to get from my family if I didn’t call him back, just like the last time they set me up. Last time I was in high school, and I blew the guy off because he wanted me to come watch him play basketball on Valentine’s day. Scusie? No. Instead I took a date with a guy who took me to Fazolis for dinner. Clearly I made the right decision. Anyway, if I know my Step-Dad’s family like I think I know them, they are asking this guy for the play by play of what we’re talking about, when we’re hanging out, and what we have to do to get The Law to approve our future incestuous marriage. So if he called me and I didn’t return the call then I would be hearing about it this weekend at our family Christmas get together.
When I got home from running errands I told Anth all about my pickle and gave him 5 scenarios of what I thought the guy could be calling for:
- He’s rearranged his plans to come into town before I leave on vacation so that we can meet and thought it necessary to make use of my phone number that I gave him to be polite.
- He wants to get to know me and thus the phone call is just to chit chat.
- He saw Lucky’s post on my facebook wall about how we wish guys would CALL and ask for a date properly, so he was calling to do just that.
- My family invited him to our family Christmas this weekend and he wants to either A.) Let me know he’s coming or B.) Get to know me before we meet face to face in front of my entire family.
- He decided not to move to California because I’m so HAWT.
After cackling, calling me crazy, and telling me that only scenarios 1 and 2 were realistic, he said if I felt like I needed to call the guy back I should do it while I’m at work so that if it gets weird I can say I have to get back to business. The first useful thing Anth has ever said. Thank you!! So that was my plan, until I got to work the next day and decided that I really just didn’t want to call. And I’m an A-DULT so if I don’t want to call I don’t have to. So I didn’t.
After that, I thought I was in the clear – he’d get the picture and if my family questioned me on not calling him back I would tell them that somehow all of the Doctors I work for leave me a bunch of messages on my voicemail so I never check it. Lying is always the answer. Especially when it comes to extended family. They have no business mulling around in my dating life.
So it was settled, I’d lie, and if the lies didn’t work, I would lie some more. That is, until the guy called me again last night, and I didn’t answer again. I feel like I could easily get away with not calling him once, but twice is a little questionable. I didn’t call him back last night, but now I’m wondering if I should. And now if I do, what do I say about ignoring not one, but two of his calls? I know I’m not interested, but I do feel bad. What do you guys think? Should I call back and tell him I’m busy for the foreseeable future or just let it go and hope he doesn’t call again?