7 things I wish I could say to BEX.

BEX is short for the disgusting, lying, cheating, bastard ex. Just FYI.

Last Friday morning, BEX decided it would be okay to send me a text message that was, let’s say, sexual in nature. Something to the effect of how much he’d like to rip my clothes off.


I was in a meeting at the time, therefor I couldn’t react in the fashion I really wanted to, which would be shoot guns in his face (through the phone) or scream bloody murder.

Instead, I replied something like Not interested, get it from your current fuck buddy.

He replied something vague, indicating to me that he does indeed have a fuck buddy or ten or 45. Which, by all means, is fine by me. What is NOT okay by me is that he involves me in his disgusting sexcapades.

Really, asshole? You send me texts all the time saying you miss me, you love me, baby…now you say you want to tear my clothes off, yet you’re getting pussy from someone else?? I don’t fucking think so.

As I told Gizzy, I’m fine if he wants to fuck the entire southern hemisphere, just don’t involve me in it.

Needless to say, although I didn’t reply to his second text, the entire (yet small) exchange brought me down. And I know it’s got to end. And it is, right here, right now. I was mad at myself for letting him disrespect me for all these years, letting him think it’s okay to fuck random women and then come crawling back to me for whatever reason…

He’s sent me two texts since then, both of which I didn’t respond to. And I never, ever will. And so I bring you, Things I Wish I Could Say to BEX this holiday season:

BEX: Merry Christmas, Lucky!!!!!! Miss you, Love you. 

ME: Please, take a shower in gasoline and go smoke a cigarette.

BEX: What did you ask Santa for this year, baby?

ME: That you would get a lethal strand of herpes and/or the clap and drop dead.

BEX: What did you get me for Christmas this year, my love?

ME: A video of me fucking your roommate, just the way you like it, doggie-style.

BEX: I wish I could see you for Christmas, Lucky. 

ME: I wish you weren’t such a retard and that you’d understand how fucking disgusting you are.

BEX: I don’t understand why you’re being such a drama queen, on Christmas. 

ME: Only because you think it’s okay to fuck a whore house and then call me for sex.

BEX: What are you doing for New Year’s Eve, babe?

ME: Just going to walk outside naked and gang bang the first four dudes I see, without a condom, you?

BEX: Do you have any New Year’s Resolutions for 2012?

ME: To eliminate all people named BEX out of my life by fire or gunshot wound to the dick.

*     *     *

Sure, you might be saying, Lucky why not lash out at him, tell him how you really feel?!?! But the thing is, I’ve learned by now that nothing, NOTHING, I say to BEX will hurt him as much as ignoring him will. The longest I’ve ignored him was 7 months, and he hated it. So I’m doing it again.

Besides, I often think I’m strong and brave enough to reply to his stupid ass messages, but I’m not. Even if he’s throwing me a compliment, I find myself feeling low. And that’s not allowed anymore!

Hey BEX, fuck off, die, drop dead, get herpes, drive off a cliff, laters!

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6 thoughts on “7 things I wish I could say to BEX.

  1. Ahh these are awesome! #2 made me laugh especially hard 🙂

  2. Gina says:

    I agree. You need to freeze him out. It seems to me that any kind of reaction you give him (unamused, appalled, angry, ambivalent, etc etc) gets twisted in his brain to: “Lucky still wants me.” No response is the biggest “eff you” of all.

    Once you get over the hard part, you’ll just automatically delete without a second thought. Too bad you can’t erase his # from your phone and force yourself to forget it. That way, you can just treat those texts like a wrong number.

    Good luck!!


  3. Catherine says:

    I’m a big fan of getting EVERYTHING you want to say out, then ignoring the hell out of them for years. I would likely send some list like Top 10 Reasons You Are a Douchebag…. and include the things he did to you, but also the mannerisms and things that annoy you about him. If he is sensitive about something, totally call it out in the list. Maybe he’s losing his hair or has a small penis. REASON #3 YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG I saw you looking in the mirror the other day, staring intensely at your hairline in wonder. In case you uncertain – YES you are losing your hair. YES it is noticeable, in fact my friends and I have talked out it quite in depth. YES you will have to lower your standards when looking for a woman in the future because you are BALDING.

    Hehe. I’m evil. And Sex and the City inspired this comment….just saw the episode when Aidan is losing his hair lol .

    Happy New Year’s ladies!!

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