Let me start off with my standard, sorry I sucked last week apology. Big changes are coming my way and I can’t always put my feelings into words. Also, I’m lazy.
You may recall a post from a few weeks ago when I mentioned I was going to try and spice things up round here by moving back into the dungeon.
Well, the time has come. Next weekend is moving day and I’m quite excited. Not just because I’ll be saving $600 a month in rent and as the lone girl in the house I’ll have virtually no privacy, but because 2 new boys are moving it.
That’s right. Fresh meat. Literally. Gross.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting one of the new roomies, we’ll call him “I’m hot Henry”. So there I was sitting in my bed sewing sequins on my Vegas clothes, when Anth is at my door asking if I want to meet the new roomie. I looked at myself in the mirror, realized I looked like asshole but didn’t care because what were the odds that I’d actually be attracted to the guy? Mistake #1.
He is HOT. Hence the name, I’m hot Henry.
So me, Anth, and IHH sat on the couch for a while and chatted. Anth has told me that IHH and the other new roomie both have girlfriends. However, in the 20 minutes I talked to the guy he did not mention her.
Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not going to shit where I sleep (is that the saying?). I’m just excited to have something nice to look at while I’m making dinner. Plus, I’ve got that whole High School Crush thing going.
And it’ll be extra fun having a hot roommate if Anth can take his head out of his girlfriend’s ass long enough for us to start having roomie night again. Something we would do when JM still lived with us.
Anyway, IHH left and I immediately went to facebook creep mode trying to figure out his deal. In the process I found the other new roomie, Hillbilly Hank. Hillbilly Hank comes to the big city from the backwoods of Alaska. I know we’ve tried to keep our locale on the DL up in here, but let me just say the big city is pretty much the complete opposite of Alaska. Honestly, Hillbilly Hank reminds me a lot of that hilljack cousin my aunt and uncle tried to set me up with last year. All his profile pictures are of him in camoflauge, holding a gun, and a dead animal.
I don’t know if you’ve gotten any kind of mental image of the type of guy Anth is all these years of me talking about him, but he is not like Hillbilly Hank. At all. Anth is the epitome of a frat guy. He wears polos, he gels his hair, he plays beer pong, he watches sports because he thinks it’s cool not because he likes them, and pre-girlfriend he would go to bars for one reason: ass. I’m hot Henry seems, from what I can gauge, to be exactly the same as Anth. I just would love to be around this fall when Hillbilly Hank goes hunting and hangs a dead animal in the garage to drain it’s blood. Shits going to be good!
Anyway, I just cannot wait to watch all the drama unfold when these two guys, who are said to be very neat and tidy find out what a trash bag Anth is. And when Anth starts with his bitching emails. You see, since Doogie has been MIA the past 6 months and it has just been Anth and I, there have been no emails. Anth and I have come to an understanding and it is that he can be as dirty as he wants and I’ll stay in my room. Guys, it’s just going to be so good, you don’t know what you’re in for.
In other news, Lucky and I leave for Vegas in T-minus 20 days! AHHHHHHHHH!