I mentioned last week that I was asked to be a mistress. Let me explain.
I was friends with this guy, Josh, at the gym. He has a wife and a daughter, but he was just my friend, someone I could talk to at the gym about stupid crap. Sometimes we’d talk over Twitter or Facebook, and eventually, we made plans, along with some other gym-goers to hit a yoga class one afternoon.
A few days before the yoga class, he sent me this message on Facebook:
Ok so I’ve been doing some serious thinking and even though I haven’t spent much time with you in person yet. i am developing some strong feelings for you. So before whatever this is, goes any further I need to discuss something with you. I’m sure you have already thought about this but I am married… Am I happy in the relationship I am in? No… But I do have a beautiful 9 year old daughter that I can’t live without. I am at a really strange point because I haven’t ever cheated or even came close to it. You have just really sparked my interest. Your career, your story from moving here, your drive and lack of complacency, general sense of humor, you go to my gym, and your very attractive,the list goes on, we just seem to have a lot in common. I know you’ve dealt with a lot of asshole guys and at the end of the day I am married and for me not to be up front and honest with you is just wrong… I don’t even know if you like me in the same manner so I hope I don’t sound like a cocky asshole by sending you this.
I was flattered, but I told him I already knew he was married and I wasn’t going to let anything happen.
Over the next few days, he got pretty aggressive in a way I hadn’t expected. He started telling me things like, “my wife and daughter are going to be out of town on this day,” or “If I can sneak away this weekend would you want to see a movie?”
I realized that what I had taken as a “Hey I’m telling you this so I don’t cheat on my wife” was actually just the opposite: an invite for an affair.
My mind was occupied on my cat’s failing health, as I took him to and from the vet, often staying away at night to make sure he was still breathing. Meanwhile, Josh was texting me these things and getting angry when I refused to answer his late-night calls.
On Saturday, my friend Marcy took me to visit my cat (our second to last visit ever) at the vet, and afterward we had plans to get wasted and see Magic Mike. It was a much needed distraction. After the movie, Marcy and a few other girls came over, and we proceeded to eat and drink and just chat. I was getting texts from Josh saying he was able to sneak out and was at a bar I should go meet him.
I said no, I had other plans, and he got very drunk and very, very angry. I told him I wasn’t a fan of cheating and I had misunderstood his statements to me. He said, “let me know if you change your mind.”
I was offended and disgusted. He then said he wished I would talk to him, and called me 4 times at 2 am. He sent me additional manipulative texts saying “I won’t bother you like the other guys…” and “Message taken.”
In the morning, before I said my final goodbyes to my cat, I told him to get over himself. I said I was going through a difficult time and I was offended that he supposedly thought I was so awesome yet all I deserve is a relationship with a married man?
His argument back to me was nearly epic…