Bittersweet

I hope that everyone had a gay ole time celebrating ‘Merica last week.  I know I did!

I spent the week in hometown catching up with family and friends while soaking up the sun and as many non-work related activities as I could.  While I was home I was offered a position at a new job, in the city I want to be in, at the place I want to work.  I’m pretty much as ecstatic as I can be about it.  I got to go into work yesterday and lay the smack-down on my boss and tell them how much they suck.  Not really, but I did get to quit, which felt really awesome.  While all of that was happening, things with High School Crush were simultaneously going down the shitter, and I’m not sure why.  What’s the saying? When one door closes, another one opens? That’s totally the case here, but it still makes me feel like crap.
 
You see, a few weeks back Betty texted me that she ran into HSC’s best friend at a bar.  I said cool and told her to have fun.  The very next day High School Crush stopped pretty much all communication with me.  I’d like to think that these are two separate incidents, but because of Betty’s track record with saying fucked up things to guys I like, I can’t help but think she said something to his friend.
 
When I saw Betty the following weekend we talked about it, she relayed their conversation as the friend was just really interested in knowing what was going on with HSC and I.  If we were “official boyfriend/girlfriend” (because we are 5) and made some comments about how HSC talks to me more than he talks to his friends.  According to Betty, that was it and they carried on with their night, and for the first time in her life she didn’t say anything inappropriate.  Seemed pretty harmless.  I tried to chalk up the past 2 weeks of little to no communication to the fact that he closed on his house and told me he has a lot of work to do on it.  But I don’t want to make excuses for him.  Everyone has time to at least send one text a day to the person they like, and if not that, a hey sorry I dropped off the face of the Earth but I’m really busy message would have sufficed.
 
The thing is, if Betty did say something that she’s not telling me about, why wouldn’t HSC ask me about whatever she said if it was so upsetting to the point where he didn’t want to talk to me anymore? In the rare case that it was just a coincidence, I tried starting up a conversation with him a few times via text message to see how the house was coming along. The first time we had a short one sided conversation, and the second time I got a response more than a day later.  Say no more, I get the hint. The weirder part is that his responses were totally normal and upbeat.  Which is even more confusing.  If he is upset about something, why reply with totally normal conversation? Or better yet, why reply at all? However, the fact that it took him more than a day to respond to my message is all the clarification I needed.  I won’t be initiating a conversation again.
 
Correct me if I’m wrong here, but I am not a mind reader and if something is going on he should come to me to talk about it, right? I shouldn’t have to feel like the crazy, “OMG IS HE MAD AT ME?!” girl and constantly have to be like, what’s wrong? why are you mad? We are 27 years old.  Lets be adults and talk about things with each other, if I did something to make someone upset, I expect them to come to me and tell me because that’s what I would do if the situation were reversed. And lets also not have conversations through our friends, because we are not in junior high.  I’m not sending my friends off to find out what he’s thinking because I am an A-DULT.  I’d also like to think that after the nice talking to I had with Betty, if this happens again she’ll stay out of it and just say, “Oh he needs to talk to her about that.” Whatever the “that” may be.
 
I can honestly say that in all of my failed relationships, I’ve learned my lesson. This communicating through friends/getting blown off for no apparent reason business is not something I want to deal with and I kind of have zero tolerance for it, so I’m leaving the situation alone. In the past, I probably would have poked and prodded until I found out what was going on and how I could fix it. Not this time, even if it is with HSC, because I don’t want to have that be the standard of how to handle problems. I’ve constantly been the peacemaker and willing to do whatever it takes to make someone else happy and it’s gotten me cheated on and lied to, so I’m done.
 
So, that’s the current state of things.  I’m pretty excited to be moving, and disappointed in the fact that I can’t catch a break and have multiple things in my life go right at the same time. But whatever… new city, new guys.  Time to put my game face on.
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6 thoughts on “Bittersweet

  1. Sorry about HSC, but congrats on the new job!

  2. Matthew says:

    Pretty much mirroring ‘thoughts’ comment about. A bit jealous (but extremely happy) about getting a dream job.

  3. Gina says:

    Congratulations on the job! Awesome. It doesn’t seem like you did anything to upset HSC, but I agree that the best thing to do is move on with your own thing + let him come to you (or not)!

    Who knows, maybe everything WILL go perfectly (with HSC, a new guy, or with no guy) once you start the new job! Beginnings are always exciting.

    Good luck!!!

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