So last you heard from me on Friday night/Saturday morning, I was 2 tweets away from becoming a cutter over this High School Crush bullshit. I had a good cry about it, literally all night Friday night, like didn’t sleep a wink and got up looking like I got punched in my face. And now, I’m not going to let myself be sad about it anymore. I’ve spent 3 weeks too many fretting about this already.
Yes, it sucks that I got fucked over, again. And it sucks even more that it was by HSC, but that’s the name of the game and I’ve gotten pretty good at coping with people not caring about me. You know, you cry really hard one night, wake up looking like shit the next day, go get drunk that night, and wake up still drunk feeling like a million bucks because you showed a bunch of strangers pictures of this guy’s new girlfriend and they all confirm that she’s gross and looks like a man. Yep, I did that Saturday night and I’m not particularly proud of it, but it was nice to have an ego boost for a few hours.
So when I was going to twitter to pull up a picture of her ugly face to show people, I saw it. Her latest tweet, “Another great night on the books with @HighSchoolCrush” then there it was… a picture of the two of them, confirming everything I had suspected. Ugh!
I know it will take time for me to really move on from this, not because we had this super long serious relationship, but because when it didn’t work out with other guys, I would always think to myself “Oh hey, there’s always HSC.” It would always make me feel better, even if just for a little bit, and I can’t do that this time.
The thing that has always been attractive to me about him, was that I thought he was a really good nice guy. Like wow, a guy who is not only physically attractive, but it also not an asshole… the 8th wonder of the world. As bad as it may sound, I still don’t think he’s a bad guy or an asshole. The odds of it working out for us were not in our favor. Even though I did just move closer, we still live an hour away from each other. He just bought a house in his city and I won’t be moving again anytime soon, so I don’t know if we ever would have lived in the same city. I was aware of that the whole time, but the fact that things were easier with him than they ever had been with any other guy would have made it worth it to me to work harder at it if it was long distance. And I won’t lie, I am absolutely crushed that he didn’t feel the same way and that he didn’t like me enough to turn down an opportunity with someone else. So yeah, I don’t think he’s a bad guy or an asshole. I do however, think he handled this in the wrong way, because he’s a coward. I think that after 6 months of this, whatever it was, he owed me the respect to tell me that he had met someone else. But instead, he just gave me the fade to make me go away. It still would have hurt just as bad, but I see that he is trying to do right by this other girl and I guess kind of by me (even though I’m getting the shit end of the stick) by not talking to multiple girls at once. So I can respect that. But, I can’t respect how he chose to end things with me and like Lucky said, I’ll get my justice because karma always comes back around. Basically, he made a temporary decision in how he ended this. We are from the same hometown, we have the same friends, my friends know his friends, his friends know my friends, our families know each other, we get invited to the same parties/events, it is inevitable that we will see each other again and he knows that too. And when that time comes, he’ll have to make another choice of how to handle it. He can pretend he doesn’t know me or he can face the Gizzy fury, and it won’t be pretty. It will probably be me reiterating most of what I’ve said here and using the word respect a lot, or throwing a drink in his face and having a good laugh about it, it all depends on my mood. But won’t it be a peach if when he does run into me this girl is with him and he has to explain that.
So, this is the last you’ll be hearing about High School Crush. That is, until I get my justice. And when that happens we’ll pop a bottle of cyber Crystal and have a party up in this bitch.