I planned on having a relaxing weekend, full of sleep and checking off my giant to-do list for this week. Oh, but that didn’t really end up happening.
After work Friday, I headed over to the normal Mexican restaurant where I meet the group for tacos and margaritas. About an hour in, we were all buzzing, and talks of heading to the bar afterward was the topic on hand.
For the last week, I’ve been texting with one of the guys in our group, I’ll call him J. He’s funny, nice, however going through a divorce. I honestly don’t know many of the details, but… yeah.
I will say I’ve enjoyed talking to him, and a part of me has always felt some sort of attraction toward him. However, I was, nor am I, on any type of mission to get involved there.
So after three margaritas, or maybe four, we headed to the bar, kept drinking and danced like fools. I wish I could remember more—like what songs we danced to. But, I just remember jumping around, dancing, singing, laughing, and even waltzing with J.
It was a fun night.
During our waltz, J informed me that he’s had a good time texting with me, he thinks I’m beautiful, but he knows he’s “damaged goods” right now. He doesn’t want to hurt me.
I was drunk and I think appeared upset over this, but I was thankful he told me the truth.
At the end of the night, I was barely able to stand, and of course unable to drive. J insisted that he drive us to our friend’s, where we then kissed in her living room.
Against my better judgment, I hopped into her guest bed with him, and proceeded to full on make out with him, and remove my clothing for additional naughty behavior.
Don’t worry. We didn’t have sex.
In the morning, we briefly talked, and he drove me to my car.
He apologized for his actions and words contradicting each other, and I appreciated that, but I also understood where he was coming from. I absolutely do not want it to be weird between us.
I feel different about this. I think I am in a new place than I was before. Normally, a night like this would have sent me on an emotional roller coaster; hoping that I could change his mind and get him to like me, despite his need for space.
But I don’t feel that way at all.
We were drunk, we messed around, and we still enjoy each other’s company. So what? I just hope that our friendship remains the same…and okay, if we have a drunken make out a time or two, I’m cool with that.