The doldrums.

When I sat down to write this post, I spilled my entire mug of coffee on my keyboard at work.

Thats a perfect way to sum up my week. The keyboard no longer works, and considering its the second replacement I’ve asked for in the past month, I’m now working off my iPad for fear of what might happen should I ask for keyboard no. 3.

All week, I’ve been feeling low. That bad date really fucked me up. And I know, I know that I shouldn’t let one bad date get me down. But this is my world.

It wasnt just the one bad date. It was the fact that one bad date brought forth the feelings that I had unknowingly been sweeping under the rug.

It brought to light just how awesome me and David got along, how much we click, and just how much we can never be.

And as much as I hate to say it, my ex turns 30 today. I’ve been dreading this day all year. And why? I’m not really sure. Maybe it’s because I know he’s having loads of birthday sex with a gaggle of whores. Maybe it’s because I’ve always feared that he’ll wake up, realize he is 30 and marry the 19 year old naked in the tangle of sheets they share. Maybe it’s because I know he never gave a flying fuck about me and he still doesn’t.

And this is how I know that I haven’t recovered yet. One failure and I’m back in the doldrums.

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2 thoughts on “The doldrums.

  1. Matthew says:

    I’m kind right there with you Lucky. The girl I was dating, though things seemed to be going extremely well between us, told me she needed to see if things would work with this other guy. The Ex sent me a text too. Nothing big, other than checking to see if I got some forwarded mail, but in either case I just would rather never hear from her again.

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