Here we are.

Remember when I went on that horrible date and then I felt like a massive loser because of it?

Umm… yeah. I’ve gotten about a dozen texts from that guy since then, all of which have gone unanswered and even a missed call with a voicemail that I never returned. I am really trying to avoid that awkward, hey dude we should just be friends, talk, but he’s making it pretty impossible for that.

I may have mentioned it before… but each day, I am just getting more and more down. I don’t know if it’s the holidays or the David shit, or the bad date guy, or possibly just everything all mixed together.

The last time I saw my counselor, he told me he was worried about me—that I was slipping back into my old ways—and I can feel myself doing so.

Ever since David and I decided to be friends, he’s pretty much fallen off the radar, which makes me feel like it was all a sham. That I was lied to (again) and used. Even though at first I was thankful for someone showing me that yes, I can connect with someone on many levels (and that sex can be good), I nearly regret it now.

I feel bad that I let someone in, that I let my walls down just to get hurt again.

Anyone else feeling the holiday blues?

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2 thoughts on “Here we are.

  1. Gina says:

    I’m sorry, L. I am guessing it is everything mixed together that’s getting you down. Sometimes, people just get so selfish that they forget how not to hurt the good people in their lives.

    Those people suck.

    Hope it gets better. I always feel pretty shitty during this time of year if that helps.

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