Why I’m better off only having 2 friends

I decided to “work through lunch” yesterday and take 45 minutes to share what happened this past weekend.  First let me say, it was bad.  And by bad, I mean B-A-D BAD. 
 
A few weeks ago mine and Nutter Butter’s old roommate, Chuck, invited us both to come to the Big City with her and her friends to celebrate her birthday.  Since my departure from the Big City was merely 5 months ago, I’m still not ready to go back, because it sucks ass there.  So I declined for the both of us, and said we’d get together some other time.  She came back at me saying she’d be going out in her city Saturday night and we should come for that.  Her city is only an hour away, so there was no getting out of it.
 
Friday night NB came to my city and we had decided that on Saturday we’d make the trip up and go out with Chuck and Gigi.  I don’t know if I’ve ever elaborated on the type of person Chuck is, so I’ll do that now.  She’s really fun, like always gets the party going, but aside from that she kind of sucks.  She’s the baby of her family and has NEVER done anything for herself.  When I lived with her it was a constant battle to get her to clean up after herself because, “I’m from a prominent community, and my stay at home Mom cleans up after me.” Yeah.  She is also one of those people that you can’t depend on staying at her place if you’re visiting and supposed to be hanging out with her, because 99% of the time she will leave you and go home with a guy and then not answer her phone.  It’s always her way, like you are going where she wants to go, or she’ll leave you – that type of stuff.  NB and I were both fully aware that all of the above could and probably would happen, but we couldn’t have ever dreamt how bad it would actually be.
 
We arrived at Chuck’s place, Gigi and her friend Jules not far behind us. Our first stop was Chuck’s sister’s house to pick her up and to take a few shots, the next stop was an ugly Christmas sweater party at one of Chuck’s friend’s/NB’s frat brother’s house.  That was all going great, and everyone was having a blast until Gigi and Jules got wasted.  When Gigi gets drunk she becomes a different person – like an incoherent-fall-down-drunk-repetitive-bat-shit-crazy-back-and-forth-whirlwind-of-emotions talking kind of person, and that’s exactly what happened.  For your convenience I have noted her emotions throughout the remainder of the post.  Not 30 minutes into the party her and Jules were saying they wanted to leave and go to the bars (Angry), even though there were copius amounts of free booze and hot guys for them to scam on everywhere.  So that was all I heard for the next hour, then Gigi decided that people at the party were talking about her, which wasn’t happening at all.  I heard, “That guy is from my high school and he keeps looking over here being like, yeah that Gigi, she’s here, Gigi.” (Paranoid) Nonsense. I tried over and over to tell her that no one cared that she was there and to just have a good time.  Then Jules barfed.  Everywhere. I mean, really? It was like 10 o’clock, oh and we’re in our mid-20’s – how does this happen? So we called her a cab and sent her home.  1 trainwreck out of the way.
 
Gigi still wouldn’t let up about the bars, so in an attempt to save our sanity we all agreed to go.  We walked the whole 5 blocks there, Gigi falling down every 10 steps and we finally got in line at the bar.  We were all inside the bar when I looked around and realized Gigi wasn’t with us, so NB and I turned around and walked back out just in time to see her arguing with a bouncer and him refusing to let her in. I look at her waving her ID in the bouncers face and grabbed her in time to see that she was actually showing him her library card.  We pulled her away from the line and she started crying (Sad), saying they didn’t give her any time to get her ID out and look at the mess in her purse (which was packed full of receipts and other micellaneous items), and why couldn’t he just give her 5 seconds to find her ID?
 
The three of us decided to go to the bar next door and have a drink and then try again to get Gigi into the bar that everyone else was at.  So we sat down at a table, and NB and I ordered drinks – Gigi wasn’t paying attention so I told the waitress she didn’t need anything.  Then she got mad at me (Angry), saying her choice of drink was not my decision, so I was all, “Fine! Order something if you want it then.” But the waitress brought her a water instead. Then she proceeded to recite a speech she had prepared in the event that NB and I ever get married (Happy) – which was actually really funny.  Then 2 seconds after that, and 1 second after the waitress brought our drinks she was hounding us to finish them so we could go back to the other bar (Annoyed).  In a feeble attempt to get really drunk, we chugged the drinks and got up.  All the while, I was texting Chuck telling her to let me know if they went somewhere else and we’d be back soon when Gigi could get into the bar.
 
So we finally made it into the bar everyone else was at, just in time to find out that Chuck and her sister had left us and didn’t tell us, even though I specifically asked 156 times that if they left that bar to let us know and we’d come out and meet them.  So I texted Chuck to ask where they were, she said headed back to her sisters.  Awesome. A small $27 cab ride away.  So NB, Gigi, and I piled into a cab and headed to Chuck’s sister’s.  Once we got there, I was pissed and sober, NB was pissed and sober, and Gigi was still drunk. Chuck then informed us that she was just going to stay at her sister’s because her car was near there and she didn’t want to pay for a cab back to her place (another $20).  Gigi was curled up on the couch with a blanket (Done-finally) and NB and I were looking around wondering what part of the hardwood floor we should sleep on with no pillow and no blanket. Chuck and her sister started getting ready for bed and then all hell broke loose.  Chuck’s sister started screaming at the top of her lungs, “WHAT THE FUCK!? WHO THE FUCK BROKE THIS?!!!” And comes barrelling out of the bathroom and gets in mine and NB’s faces with a coffee mug that has a chip out of the top of it.  She went on and on for about 10 minutes waving the mug in our faces cussing and accusing, while Chuck begged her to stop. When she finally shut up for 2 seconds we politely informed the psycho that neither of us had been in her bathroom, but Jules (the barfer) had been earlier that night so she needed to back the fuck off.  At that point NB and I decided to pay the money for the cab back to Chuck’s, so we called a cab and waited 2 hours for it to show up.  When the cab finally got to Chuck’s sister’s at 4:47am, there was peace.
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