I am a criminal.

Yep, you’ve read correctly, half of your favorite blogging duo is a (not so smooth) criminal, complete with a warrant.

It all started in October, when I was driving across town to do some last minute work at the magazine. I made a right turn onto a street, and when I turned a cop in front of me put his lights on, then pulled to the side, I passed, and he got behind me.

I pulled over and he came up beside me, saying to pull into a parking lot about a block ahead.

I did as I was told, wondering what the hell I did.

He asked me why I thought I was being pulled over, a question that always boggles my mind. If I get the answer right do I get out of the ticket? No? Then why the fuck do I care?

I told him I wasn’t sure, and he said he didn’t consider my stop at the stop sign to be a complete one.

“It was a rolling stop,” he said.

I gave him my license (which was expired) and registration, knowing full-well that this guy just needed a few extra tickets before he would get that vacation the precinct promised.

He told me he would let the expired license slide, but gave me the ticket for the stop sign violation. I said thanks, and shoved the ticket into my glove compartment and went on my way to work.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Weeks later, I was reminded that I needed to pay that ticket before it was too late. I called the sheriff’s office to get the price, $148.25, wrote the check, and dropped it in the mail.

A week passed, as did my court date/ticket due date, and the check wasn’t cashed.


I called the sheriff’s office to see what the problem was. The lady said they don’t take checks, so chances were it was on it’s way back to me.

“But my deadline has passed,” I said.

“It’s okay, just send us a money order right back,” she said.

She didn’t seem concerned, so I tried not to worry. When I got home that night, the check was in my mail. I put the money order in the mail the following day.

Then Monday morning rolls around, and I have a message on my cell phone from CASA—the organization I’m about to train for to become a volunteer.

“Hey Lucky, I’m calling about your background check. Your national is fine, but you have a local warrant that’s active,” she said, meaning I cannot become a volunteer.

Pretty standard. I haven’t gotten a ticket in 4 years, and I get one just in time to blow up in my face and completely fuck over something good I’m trying to do.

I told the woman at CASA the entire story, she seemed to understand, and said she would do my background check again on Monday and see if it was cleared up. I pray to whoever that it is.

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One thought on “I am a criminal.

  1. Matthew says:

    If you didn’t have the entire CASA thing I would say hold out until there’s a reward or bounty on your head.

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