Nice Guy is baaaack, which is a good thing since I hate NYE… so here you all go!
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Every year December 31st is the most anticipated night that, as we get older, holds the greatest potential to be an epic letdown.
Happy New Year’s Eve!
Tonight is the night we put 364 days behind us and projections are made for the next 365 to come. On this night we hold on tight to traditions; traditions that rarely change from year to year but we expect the results of the following year to be different. You what else has a definition like that? Insanity.
So, here are my Top Ten Insane New Year’s Eve Traditions!
10.) Singing ‘Auld Lang Syne’: Seriously, how many of us know the words? How many of us actually know what the meaning of the song is (without Googling it)? However, I’m a sentimentalist and therefore I had to put this at 10 because it does date back to the 1700’s. Respect.
9.) Counting down, out loud, to midnight: If you’re in a situation where you won’t look ridiculous doing this (because you’re alone), then you’ve probably had enough to drink that you probably wouldn’t be able to pass the sobriety test administered when you get pulled over driving home later on. *we do not condone drinking and driving. Be smart. Be safe. “The more you know.”*
8.) Limos: I’ll only really concede to this if your driver’s name is Ranjit and you have a ‘Get Psyched’ mix CD to get everyone ready to party. Otherwise, just save your money and use regular means of public transportation is necessary.
7.) Father Time/Baby New Year costumes/photos: Just…don’t.
6.) Toasts: This may be fine in a small, intimate setting with close friends and loved ones. If you’re out and about at a public party no one wants to hear you being all sentimental about the last year. It’s like trying to sing a love ballad (or almost any slow song) at a karaoke night. People want to ROCK, not think about a love once lost. Speaking of being out in the world…
5.) Public New Year’s Eve menus and parties: Strange phrasing, I know but hear me out. Restaurants, clubs and bars all have these big end-of-the-year blow out parties and specials. Want to know what’s so special about them? You’ll be paying close to 30-50% more for it. Cover charges at the door that used to be $5 are not $20. “Special” dinner items are $50 a plate, when on any other night are part of a 2 for $20 entree deal.
4.) Staying up until midnight: You know what? I’m old…ish. If I’m tired, I want to sleep. If I happen to get tired on New Year’s Eve, I’ll still probably want to sleep. It’ll still be the new year when I wake up.
3.) Champagne/ungodly amounts of booze: I love champagne. If you offer it to me I’m going to have a glass, or two, or three. But why drop that kind of money (because you are not going to disrespect New Year’s Eve with a $20 bottle are you?) on a night that shares a definition withINSANITY? As for the rest of the booze? Honestly just be safe; whether you go out or stay in. No one likes the stupidly drunk. In most cases you don’t need it to have a great time.
One of my best New Year’s Eves happens to have been during my high school years. I, along with 3 other friends, decided to attempt the ‘Drink 1 Gallon of Milk in One Hour Challenge’. I “won” by only having about 8 oz. left by the time the hour was up. Overall none of us “won”, but breakfast at Village Inn the following morning never tasted so good…once the floor stopped moving.
However, on the reverse end when you CAN drink it’s difficult to go without even one drink to help celebrate. While living in LA I dated a girl who ended up taking me to an AA sponsored New Year’s Eve party. Nuf said.
2.) Kiss at midnight: Just another reminder to anyone who is not with someone that they are alone…and better yet you’re alone at the beginning of the new year. Congrats. Go make out with that bottle of gin. The icing on the cake is that in about 6 weeks you’ll get another reminder that you’re still single.
1.) Resolutions: Yes, the yearly promises we make that survive perhaps one, maybe two months, if even that. As ‘The Lion King’ taught me there is then a circle of life…which in that case means you’ll end up making the same resolutions the following year, and the year after that, and the year after that.
The way I see it these come in various levels:
Level One are the actual realistic ones that are at the complete control of the person: drink less, get in better shape, quit smoking, save more money, spend more time with friends or family. Again, we have control over these things. Want to get in better shape, join a gym. Want to drink less, don’t keep as much in the house. Want to save money, actually prepare a budget.
Then there are the Level Two resolutions that people make that they don’t have control over, or at least complete control over. I’m willing to wager that the most common one is to either fall in love and/or get married. It’s like saying you’re going to be married by 25. Then 27. Then 30. Then 32. Stop setting yourself up like that. This requires two people. Love is a two way street, unless you’re a fan of restraining orders. Don’t resolve to fall in love. We don’t have the sort of control. A close second is probably finding a new job. Again the only control you really have is quitting your current job. You can take steps to then make yourself look appealing to other employers but in the end…they make that final decision.
I have one Level One resolution on the table: to eat better (again) and work on some otherwise lacking areas of my own personal fitness. Perhaps I’ll even try to do a little more reading considering there are some books on my shelf a couple of years old that haven’t been cracked open yet.
What are you all resolving for 2013?
As a New Years treat, from me to you all, here’s something I look forward to every year around this time…end-of-the-year mash-ups!
See you in 2013!