It’s hottie time.

Well my year is off to a great start… kind of.

I went to Craig’s house for NYE, it was very low-key, but very awesome. Craig and Marcy had declared it a “sausage fest” meaning, every dish we ate included sausage—pork sausage meatballs in the pasta sauce, deer sausage for snacking, and spicy sausage in the queso dip. So, we ate loads of sausage, and drank several (5) bottles of bubbly.

We then listened to super old country music until 2 am because we are cowboys.

I slept until noon and woke up to a glorious new day—Craig said it was his tradition to get wasted on New Year’s Day, because what else are you going to do? So we started in on mimosas and homemade hashbrowns (capped, smothered, with jalapenos and sausage, for my Waffle House-loving readers out there).

We then sat outside, under a propane heater of course, listening to music and getting wasted. I didn’t leave until almost 10 p.m., after I drunkenly sent a Happy New Year’s text to the bachelor, and he never replied.

Horse. Shit.

Anyway, do we all know what starts Monday night??? That’s right, THE (FUCKING) BACHELOR.

So, join me in the usual Twitter bashfest, because this is going to be GOOD (@Cocktailsattiff). It’s Emily’s kind-of-ex, Sean, who I don’t particularly find attractive, but nonetheless he seems nice. Ha!

I am pretty excited. Because I have no life and watching The Bachelor is the closest thing I have to a boyfriend.

Anyway.

Being back at work royally sucks—the only thing getting me through is my latest Justin Bieber music purchase.

Like I said, no life. Here’s to 2013!

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