What’s the sit-u-ation?

Sigh. Monday. The first full week of work since the holidays—I’m sure it’s going to be a bitch.

However, if you remember correctly, tonight is a MAJOR TV night & I am pretty stoked on that. We have 2 hours of The Bachelor (complete with Tweets from yours truly @Cocktailsattiff) followed by an hour of Teen Mom and then a glorious new episode of Catfish.

Omg I cannot wait. And yes, I realize how big of a loser this makes me.

The weekend however, was a good one. I have lots to tell you all, which will probably take all week, but I’ll start now.

Saturday night, Marcy and I jumped in the car to head across town for a house party. I don’t know who really has house parties anymore, but here we were going to one. Whatever. Neither of us were particularly stoked on going, but we said we would, and we both agreed to have two beers, make the rounds, and then bolt because we are cool like that.

About two blocks from my apartment, I see a few cop cars with their lights on, not pulling people over, but holding the traffic lights. I also notice lots of people walking beside the street. It was only 7:30, so I was pretty confused.

When we drove to the next light, there were about 6 cop cars, same scene. They were directing traffic away from the mall—where the parking lot was empty and the lights were off. Um, what? So we started Googling and see that apparently there was a massive fight at the mall, involving hundreds of people, followed by a stampede and uber panicking.

When we got to the party, a girl there said she was actually at the mall and heard gun shots. WHAT?

Anyway, the party was packed with people from the gym, including that trainer I used to see, and that was awkward, not because of him and me, but because he is such a tool, and everyone constantly talks about how he is weird and a loser. Yeah, thanks.

A few weeks ago I met this guy at the gym, TAZ, who used to be a professional football player, and is big and black, and pretty freaking hot. According to our mutual friend, M, TAZ thinks I am hot, however acts super shy around me. Standard.

TAZ arrived at the party and makes himself a vodka cocktail and is all, “Hey we met a few weeks ago…” yadda yadda, and he was wearing a massive gold watch, large diamond earrings, and two large football rings. Hmm.

I told Marcy I thought he was hot. She agreed.

“I like your watch,” I told him.

“I like your butt,” he said.


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