Why I won’t be watching The Bachelor.

Yeah, you read correctly.

But it’s not because this season of The Bachelor is kinda boring or because Sean isn’t hot or because Tierra has a giant dent in her forehead.

It’s something worse than that.

Last year, you might recall I was pretty heavily involved in a volunteer program that was on a mission to end institutional racism—a mission I feel strongly about. I went through the volunteer program as a participant, then I took their “advanced session,” and then I even went through training to become a facilitator and started facilitating the sessions on my own.

However, the more and more I became a part of the organization, I saw many flaws in the way they work. The CEO, we’ll call her Mary, takes control of everything. In a sense, that’s great, it’s good to have leaders. However, if you’re trying to educate people on eliminating racism, you need to spread the word, not keep it a secret.

But on top of that, the way Mary runs things is completely wrong. She sends emails with the body of the email in an attached Word document, she never starts or ends things on time, so if you’re attending a training breakfast from 9-12, be prepared to be there until at least 1 pm.

At the end of last year, I was in search of a new volunteer venture: one that would value my time and reward me for my hard work. That’s when I found CASA.

After passing the entrance interview, the background check, securing 3 references, and completing 32 hours of training, and passing the test (I got 100%) and the exit interview, I am now waiting on my CASA child to begin the year of service that I’ve committed to.

It took me months of back-and-forth about deciding to become a CASA volunteer. It’s very emotionally taxing, but I was also worried about the time commitment—I have a tendency to book myself solid, where would I find the time to advocate for a child?

The answer? I needed to eliminate (or at least cut significantly) my volunteer efforts with Mary.

My plan was to get rolling with CASA, figure out my average hours spent, and then explain my situation to Mary, saying perhaps I could still do trainer breakfasts or events, but no 6-week-long facilitations.

In the midst of all of this, I was noticing a massive amount of email from Mary. At least once, if not twice a day. Some of them were invites to happy hours, others scheduling a breakfast, and several were wanting us to meet and practice. I didn’t want a part of any of it.

Don’t worry, it gets worse.

Last Tuesday, I was sitting at work, actually getting a few things done, when Mary called me on my cell phone. Wishing to avoid her aggressive nature, I ignored the call.

About 2 minutes later, I get an email from Mary saying I’ve been assigned to facilitate the next 6-week session, beginning Monday, February 4th at 5:30 pm.

That’s right, ASSIGNED.

I checked my voicemail to see if this was indeed the case, and it was.

I waited a few moments to breathe and calm down, and then emailed Mary, explaining to her that my volunteer efforts had shifted to CASA, and I was unsure of the amount of time I would be able to devote to her. I asked her if there was anyway anyone else could facilitate.

She said no.

What are my options here? Yes, Mary really screwed me. There’s about a million things she did wrong here, but I do have a conscious and I ultimately care about the group’s mission. So, I spent Tuesday evening being mad about it and then told myself I needed to suck it up and be an adult.

Sure, now my Monday nights are gone, as our my Tuesday nights, but it’s just for 6 weeks. So, enjoy The Bachelor without me (I will be watching tomorrow night’s though!).


2 thoughts on “Why I won’t be watching The Bachelor.

  1. Matthew says:

    Doesn’t being assigned to do something, particularly that you’d rather not do…or have time for any longer, cancel out the word VOLUNTEER?

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