Last Friday night (a week ago), Marcy and I were drinking margaritas when she pulled a small package out of her purse and gave it to me. It was a sample bottle of Justin Bieber’s perfume, “Girlfriend,”
“OMG OMG OMG!!!!” I squealed with delight. She had requested it as her free sample when she bought her last Sephora purchase—just for me. So I dabbled a little on right then and there. We all joked that it actually smelled quite delicious.
The next day, we were sitting at a dingy bar when I was reminded about the small bottle in my purse. I dabbled a little on my neck mid-32-ounce beer. A few minutes later, our bar feast arrived: tacos, nachos, wings, and a massive Philly cheese steak.
The guy in the seat next to me looked over and said, “Damn you are really doing it up big, huh?” I didn’t know what he meant… it was our dinner.
“Uh, I guess?” I said. “It’s just food.”
I chowed down and demolished another 32-ouncer, when my bar buddy spoke up yet again. “You’re not afraid of getting fat eating all that?”
“Nope,” I said, wondering where in the fuck this guy learned his pick up lines.
“A minute on the lips is a lifetime on the hips,” he continued. I turned in my chair.
“It’s that Girlfriend perfume,” Marcy said.
“Omg you are right. The men love it!” I said. We paid and hit up the next bar. Right when we got seated, the guy in the bar stool next to me said, “Come here often?”
I chatted with him for a little while, sipped on my French 75 and turned to Marcy.
“How’s that Girlfriend perfume, Chatty Cathy?” she asked.
This really was some powerful shit!
We paid and bounced and I went to the bar at D’s restaurant (where he manages) for a nightcap.
Sitting next to me, D didn’t waste anytime.
“Why aren’t we exclusive?” he asked.
“Well, I don’t know,” I said. “Because you haven’t said anything?”
“Okay well, go ahead, ask me to be your boyfriend then,” he said.
“Why do I have to ask!?” I said.
“Oh you don’t want to?” he said.
So I asked him, 7th grade style, if he would be my boyfriend, and he said yes.
When I broke the news to Marcy the next day, she said one thing: “He fell for that Girlfriend!!!”
When I told D about the whole “Girlfriend Perfume” thing, he was like, “Girlfriend perfume? You mean Justin Bieber’s ball sweat?”