#Girlfriend

Last Friday night (a week ago), Marcy and I were drinking margaritas when she pulled a small package out of her purse and gave it to me. It was a sample bottle of Justin Bieber’s perfume, “Girlfriend,”

“OMG OMG OMG!!!!” I squealed with delight. She had requested it as her free sample when she bought her last Sephora purchase—just for me. So I dabbled a little on right then and there. We all joked that it actually smelled quite delicious.

The next day, we were sitting at a dingy bar when I was reminded about the small bottle in my purse. I dabbled a little on my neck mid-32-ounce beer. A few minutes later, our bar feast arrived: tacos, nachos, wings, and a massive Philly cheese steak.

The guy in the seat next to me looked over and said, “Damn you are really doing it up big, huh?” I didn’t know what he meant… it was our dinner.

“Uh, I guess?” I said. “It’s just food.”

I chowed down and demolished another 32-ouncer, when my bar buddy spoke up yet again. “You’re not afraid of getting fat eating all that?”

“Nope,” I said, wondering where in the fuck this guy learned his pick up lines.

“A minute on the lips is a lifetime on the hips,” he continued. I turned in my chair.

“It’s that Girlfriend perfume,” Marcy said.

“Omg you are right. The men love it!” I said. We paid and hit up the next bar. Right when we got seated, the guy in the bar stool next to me said, “Come here often?”

Heh. Heh.

I chatted with him for a little while, sipped on my French 75 and turned to Marcy.

“How’s that Girlfriend perfume, Chatty Cathy?” she asked.

This really was some powerful shit!

We paid and bounced and I went to the bar at D’s restaurant (where he manages) for a nightcap.

Sitting next to me, D didn’t waste anytime.

“Why aren’t we exclusive?” he asked.

“Well, I don’t know,” I said. “Because you haven’t said anything?”

“Okay well, go ahead, ask me to be your boyfriend then,” he said.

“Why do I have to ask!?” I said.

“Oh you don’t want to?” he said.

So I asked him, 7th grade style, if he would be my boyfriend, and he said yes.

When I broke the news to Marcy the next day, she said one thing: “He fell for that Girlfriend!!!”

When I told D about the whole “Girlfriend Perfume” thing, he was like, “Girlfriend perfume? You mean Justin Bieber’s ball sweat?”

Sigh. Men.

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2 thoughts on “#Girlfriend

  1. Matthew says:

    First, HA! to Ds comment.

    Second – you should have written your “Will you be my boyfriend” request on a bar napkin…

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