The Navy Seal (Part 2)

 Instead of going home like I should have, I went into crazy drunk girl mode and told this guy my whole life story including the part about my recent breakup where I choked up and got teary eyed as I said it.  Really? REALLY GIZZY? Really. Who knows what else I told him. Eventually Chuck did what she does best and invited these guys back to my apartment for an after party.  It was 9pm.

We stopped and got a case of beer (that no one drank). Chuck and the other guy were dancing around my living room while I sat on the couch and slowly got more and more upset that these guys were in my apartment.   

Eventually the guy I was talking to asked if he could kiss me and I told him no.  Of course, that didn’t stop him from trying anyway a little later.  I went with it for a few seconds then started crying because not only was I not ready to move on, I don’t do the whole drunken make out with a stranger thing because I’m a giant prude.

Chuck and the other guy passed out and I eventually made my way to my room, just wanting to go to bed and forget about the whole kiss.  Except this guy followed me to my bedroom.  I agreed to let him sleep in my bed, but put the whole ” we’re JUST sleeping” thing out there.  The guy went in for the kiss again, then I started crying. He figured out that I was not down for that and said he would just sleep on the floor.  I laid in bed, tears streaming down my face texting Lucky, Gigi, and Betty about what had happened.  

Gigi called so I ran outside continuing to cry/hyperventilate as I told her what happened, and how I wasn’t ready to move on and how now I missed NB even more than before. She calmed me down and reminded me that not every guy I tell my life story to has to be my boyfriend or a potential future husband, this was just the first kiss since NB and it didn’t have to go in that direction if I didn’t want it to. Which is a great point, I don’t really do random and usually any guy that I even so much as kiss turns into a dating situation – so I never separate the two.  Anyway, she talked me into going to sleep and just forgetting it happened.  But around 4am I heard the guy get up, he said the floor wasn’t very comfortable and got back into my bed.  Um okay what about the fact that I don’t want you here? The guy tried kissing me again and I just turned away. As soon as the sun came up I was in the living room poking Chuck telling her to get up so we could go get my car.  Mostly I just wanted these guys out of my apartment.  We dropped them off at their hotel and sped off.  There’s no doubt in my mind that this guy thinks I am bat shit crazy, because I was, but I honestly don’t care I never have to see or talk to him again so whatevs.

So with that, I had a major set back.  Finally, last week I had the first day that I didn’t cry over NB, then this happens and I feel like I’m right back to where I was a blubbery emotional trainwreck.  I guess all in all it was a good way to show me that I just need A LOT more time, should steer clear of guys in general right now, and obviously need to cut back on the drinking until I’m emotionally stable. 

Which presents another problem – Friday morning I am flying out to Nashville, TN for a weekend long bachelorette party…
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3 thoughts on “The Navy Seal (Part 2)

  1. Gina says:

    Oh, Gizzy!! It is so so so okay not to be ready. Don’t feel bad about it for one second. The worst thing would be forcing yourself to kiss/date someone and then feeling guilty about it or letting it mess you up further.

    I’m just glad nothing worse happened to you with that creeper in your bed. Be careful, lady!

    • I know right!! As bad as I made the guy sound, he was actually really nice and respectful, and probably exactly the type of guy I should move on with when I’m ready. But the thought of it right now just makes me sick. Yuck!!

  2. Matthew says:

    My mind used to process things similar to yours here Gizzy. Usually, if I kissed someone it was going to head into a dating/relationship realm.

    That didn’t get rectified until recently where I realize just because I kiss a girl, or even go out on one, two, three dates with them doesn’t necessarily constitute we’re now dating and in a relationship (and here I am 32 just “learning” this).

    Things are going to get better in the time YOU need them to. Until then, there’s nothing wrong with coming off bat-shit crazy. Heck, according to my dad I apparently most of the women I attract are precisely that…so you’re obviously not alone.


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