Punch me in the face.

Sorry this post is so late everyone, but I’ve been at a funeral all day. 

I’m not sure how much, if at all, I mentioned this, but D’s grandpa passed away early Friday morning. 

D and his family found out about a month ago that his grandpa had stage 4 cancer. They gave him 6 months to live. About 2 weeks later, he was in hospice, and passed away in less than 2 weeks. 

Needless to say, D was pretty upset. His family is close, his parents and grandparents all live within a 10 mile radius of each other and D. 

I am really not good at handling these types of situations. I never know what to say, I just kept telling D I was sorry, asking him if he was okay, and reminding him that I’m always here to listen. 

Of course, when D told me his grandfather passed away, I offered to go with him to the services. He was worried about me missing work, which I assured him was not a big deal. 

So Monday evening, I picked him and his daughter up (E) and we went to the funeral home for the wake. There, I saw his brothers, parents, nieces and nephews. But there was also a slew of people I had to meet, including his grandma, now a widow. 

It was difficult. You don’t want to be cheery when everyone is sad, but it also feels silly to say, “sorry for your loss,” when you never even met the guy in the casket. Am I wrong?

Anyway, one person coming to the wake I was particularly nervous to meet and that was D’s ex wife, also E’s mom. 

She was friendly and honestly seemed like someone I would be friends with; and that was a nice feeling to have. However, other people in the room were eyeing the situation. 

“Is it weird to meet her?” his mom whispered to me. 

“Mmm…no,” I said. “It’s kind of weird that we are meeting under these circumstances, but not in general.”

Why would it be weird? It’s not like I’m afraid they will get back together. 

The weirder part for me is when E talks about her mom. Not because I have any ill feelings toward her, but just because I’m not sure what to say, aside from, ohhhh. 

After the wake, the 3 of us (D, E, and I) went to dinner. It was there that I felt like a little bit of an outsider. 

Anyone ever dated someone with kids? It’s cool to hang out as a new little family, but it’s not my little family, nor will it ever be. Even if D and I were to get married, E would still see me as that evil stepmom. 

I was already feeling like E didn’t want me around. And honestly, I can’t say I blame her. I have no experience with kids. I’m not really the most cheerful person around, and I’m pretty much trying to move in on her dad… what’s there to like about me?

Tuesday morning, we met back up for breakfast and hit the road for the funeral. D was a pallbearer, so E needed a buddy to sit with during the service. She refused to sit with me, and D looked at me, “Wow she does not want to sit with you.”

I said, “yeah, pretty sure she hates me.” 

D and the woman next to me were sympathetic. 

“She doesn’t seem to like anyone,” the lady whispered. 

I don’t know if that’s comforting or not. 

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2 thoughts on “Punch me in the face.

  1. Melissa says:

    I am no longer a constant reader here because I have a toddler, and if it’s not Mickey Mouse Club house I am not watching,reading or listening to it. Please forgive me. But… This entry popped up on my blog reader and I took a few to read it.
    I was 21 when I met the love of my life. He was 26 with a 5 year old. I was mortified to meet her and knew she would end up being my step daughter. He and I got married, then divorced (6 years later) and now kinda sorta maybe back together. But through all of that she became mine. yes, she has a mother (a giant piece of shit one) and yes she spent most of her childhood/teen years HATING my guts…. But now, at 17, she lives with me again (not with her mom, not with her dad.. me) and she only hates me some of the time! 🙂
    you don’t have to be the evil step mother… that part is entirely up to you!

    • Thanks for the kind words! I think it will just take time. His daughter has never met any of “daddys girlfriends” and D has said multiple times, it’s just new for her. And it’s really, really new for me, too! -L

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