Last week, Gizzy was all excited because she downloaded the Tomagotchi L.i.f.e app on her phone.
She said it was just like the real thing, like the ones we had in middle school.
A few days later, I downloaded the app. It was free, unlike the Tomagotchis I’d seen at the store, which were at least $15.
Just like the real thing, it was egg-shaped and when it was born it was a little blob bouncing around on the screen that needed to be fed, played with, and cleaned after taking a dump.
At first, this was fun. But then I noticed that it was constantly “calling” me… like every 5-10 minutes. Now, I know I don’t really have a life, but AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.
However, I didn’t want it to die, so I kept at it. Feeding and cleaning were easy tasks, although… the playing part?
I started to see just how much my lil Kumatachi was. He would cry and yell if he lost the game! Little fucker.
Over the weekend, I wasn’t feeling well, so I spent many, many hours in bed sleeping under the spell of off-brand theraflu.
When I awoke to find about 25 requests from the little trout sniffer, I opened the app and saw the angel.
He was dead.
And I really wasn’t sad about it. Because he was annoying. And also? Kind of ugly.
I deleted the app.