In need of purpose.

I don’t really know why I’ve been under a rock lately, but I have been, and as any snail or earthworm would have you know—once you’ve been under a rock, getting out of it and actually living life is sort of hard and is definitely a pain in the ass.

There is an episode of Sex and The City when Charlotte leaves her job at the gallery because she thinks her and Trey are going to be parents, but when she can’t get pregnant, she tells the other women and Trey that she’s “trying to get her day planner together.”

I’ve never really seen that statement as a dilemma until now.

I still go to work, physically. But once I get here, I usually just drink coffee, eat peanut butter right out of the jar, and play Candy Crush. Seriously. That’s what I do for 8 hours, 5 days a week.

Occasionally, I will think about all of the productive things I could be doing with my workday, like:

  • Improving my many other blogs
  • Reading a book
  • Googling things to blog about
  • Pitching to new venues about hiring me for more blog classes
  • Improving my blog class
  • Cleaning my office
  • Cleaning out my email inboxes
  • Replying to emails

But no. I play Candy Crush and watch old episodes of World of Jenks (I love Chad).

The thing is, it’s such a struggle for me to get up and out of bed in the mornings and arrive on time wearing makeup, that once I get here I am a total zombie. But! I am trying to change that. I am setting GOALS for myself.

Like… clean off the desk at the end of the day, write AN blog entry, go to a meeting. LOOK busy!

It’s kind of working.

I am fairly certain I recall going through similar feelings around this time of year, every year. It’s nice outside, and I want to be at the pool and not in my office, so I take to chair-spinning contests with myself. It’s only logical.

Anyone else in my boat (with a pina colada in hand?)?

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