Part three: The final straw.

You are all probably wondering why there is even a part three; believe me, I was very frustrated, scared, and upset at this point. But I didn’t want to give up.

Even my cynical heart had hope that things would turn around and we could go on like this didn’t happen. But in the weeks following the bar fight, we were very distant.

I built walls around me, just waiting for that third thing to happen when I would say, “That’s it! I’m out of here.”

It happened on a Wenesday night… or rather, a Thursday morning at 4 am. D was texting me, drunk. Actually, he was wasted—most of the texts were just random letters, like he was slamming his fingers down on his phone and sending them to me.

Some words I could read, like him telling me he was going to go back to “someone else.”

That was it. He was drunk again, and now telling me he was going to cheat. Two things I absolutely cannot and will not tolerate.

I replied and told him it was over.

He continued to text me passive aggressive bullshit, but I turned off my phone and tried to get some sleep.

The next morning, D sent me a message saying he couldn’t do this anymore. I took it as him trying to turn the tables and break up with me, but I told him it was already over. Later, he explained that he just meant the crazy drinking, but it doesn’t ultimately matter. It was over.

D is an alcoholic.

When I tell people that, most of them just say, “Well yeah he works in the service industry,” but it’s not that. Alcoholics aren’t just people who like to drink; they have a very serious problem.

It broke my heart to have to let D go… but I know I must make a better life for myself. I have no fucking clue how I keep finding myself in these situations—never ever ever in my darkest nightmares did I think I would be dating a guy like this.

The day after we broke up, I had my locks changed as D had a key to my place. I didn’t think he’d even try to come over, but I’m going out of town soon and didn’t want to take any chances.

That Saturday morning, I woke up at 5 am to pounding on my door. D was outside, drunk, with a styrofoam cup of Crown in his hand.

I am still so very heartbroken. As pathetic as it may sounds, I just want one of these relationships to work. I want to be loved.

I hope that D gets the professional help he needs before something else terrible happens. But I cannot rescue him, help him, or stand by and watch as things unfold anymore.

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3 thoughts on “Part three: The final straw.

  1. Gina says:

    You did the right thing, L. Believe me. The heartbreak you feel now (and will get over, I promise) is nothing like the pain you’d face if you’d stayed with him. My college boyfriend (whom I stayed with after graduation) had lots of similar problems and landed himself a DUI. I also had to pick him up at the police station in the middle of the night, then drive him back and forth to Phila. all the time because he had no license. I stuck with it way too long, and he ended up breaking up with me several times, which about decimated my heart. But I know now that he is sooo much better off being someone else’s problem (as well as his own). I wish him nothing but peace and joy, but I am glad that he ended it because I would have held on forever and would have been hurt over and over.

    You were so smart to put a stop to it. You deserve better, and you should expect nothing less. I wish I was that smart when I was younger. I know I say this a lot, but it’s true: you will find someone. WIth each person you date, you learn a little for the next time. Unfortunately, there are a lot of DBs out there. I know this firsthand. But there are good guys, too. Really and truly. And though experiences like the one you had with D are painful, they will just help you better recognize the shitty ones from the keepers later on. Just remember: if you didn’t have standards, you’d settle for any asshole in a life of mediocrity. Who the hell wants that??


  2. Good for you for doing what you needed to. It can be really hard. Hang in there!

  3. Matthew says:

    Pretty much what Gina just said…and you pretty much know my stance.

    Sorry it had to happen in the first place though.

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