I am alive after what was a great and awful weekend all at once.
Last week in general was rough. While I am going through the motions of getting my life back in order, my mind is still very caught up in D drama and my heart is still in pain.
D and I tried to plan a friendship-family night a few weeks ago and he cancelled last-minute, and I felt played. Since then, we’ve done nothing but fight; he says he loves and misses me, but then doesn’t reply my messages, or make attempts to see me.
I finally had a break down Wednesday at work; crying in the women’s bathroom and decided that I just needed to cut him out of my life. So I sent him a text asking him to come pick up his TV Friday.
The TV was his last item at my house; after he picked it up, there’d be no real reason for us to talk again. He agreed to pick it up Friday, so Friday morning (complete with a hangover) I dragged the near-60-inch flat screen into the hallway of my complex, threw a towel over it and sent him a text, “TV is ready for pickup” at 7:06 a.m.
Just as I expected, he replied to my message at 1:15 pm, saying “Can’t make it today.”
Little did he know that I’d already planned on him saying that, so my plan was to put the TV back in my apartment, keep it, and never talk to him again.
That’s exactly what I did. I didn’t reply to his message and I haven’t heard from him since.
It’s been 3 days—the longest time we’ve gone without talking to each other in 5 months—and I’m experiencing a range of emotions.
I had prepped myself for a weekend of drama; expecting D to send me rude texts, perhaps even show up at my door in the wee hours of the morning, blood pumping with alcohol.
But to my shock, not a peep.
Despite the silence, I hardly slept all weekend, and took out my frustrations on bowling and scrubbing my tub.
In unrelated news, I’ve got a massive crush on the new trainer, CJ, at our gym. All I can say is that he has really large muscles and that in my head we are already married and things are just perfect…