SORRY GUYS! I dropped the ball and forgot about day 10. Please forgive me.
Every year around this time, like most people I’m sure, I think about the year gone by. And each year, I think, “Wow, this year has really been tough.”
And it’s true, I’ve been through a lot these past few years, and this year is no different. But I’m actually starting to realize just how STRONG I am. I made it through a really, really tough relationship that could’ve changed the course of my life forever if I didn’t get out.
But I’m out, and even though I am still healing from it, I know things are getting better.
The other part of this question is things we’re still learning about ourselves…and one thing I’m still learning and working on is being non-judgmental. For the most part, I am free of judgment, but I know it creeps up sometimes, and it’s really something I’m working on.
I’ve learned that at this juncture in my life I’m a better me when I’m alone. And by alone I mean boyfriend/crushless. Since I started high school I have always had a guy, a guy that I liked, a guy I was dating, sometimes multiple guys. In high school I felt like I kind of had my pick of any guy I wanted, and I called the shots. I didn’t care about what my boyfriends were doing, who they were talking to, and shitty things they did didn’t upset me because I didn’t tolerate it. I knew that I was the shit and that I treated them well and they couldn’t find better. So if they did something shitty I dumped them on the spot and moved on to the next guy. In college those waters started to get murky because I didn’t have my pick of any guy which made me care more/obsess about the guys that I did date, mostly over their every move thinking they were all cheating on me (I was right, they were!). But the last few years I’ve missed the carefree girl that did whatever she wanted with no regard to someone who didn’t treat her right and I feel like this year I’ve started to get that piece of me back. I finally “learned” that the adult me is just as awesome. I also learned that not giving a fuck is way easier than giving a fuck about people that treat you badly.